Why De Maitre stopped supporting AAL team

Did you know there is a new Anti-AAL blog up? =) No, I don't hate the blog. Love it so far because it is actually in good English!! Today, I want to talk about why I withdrew my support for AAL team even though I hate ALs. Unfortunately, the comment I left on WHAAL was a tragic parody of my usual standard of English. Learn from me guys, sleep deprivations turns you into a blubbering mass with badly expressed opinions. Ivans' parents are right, you need sleep to function well. Heh, unfortunately, I'm still going to be sleep deprived, so bear with me.

So there, with the help of my friend (who wants to remain anonymous for now) correcting my English, I'm going to repost up my comment.

The reason why I withdrew my support for AAL team even though I dislike ALs was because I think they have crossed the line of decency. Insulting a collective group of people who share common deviant behavioral traits is fine to me. BUT I certainly don't approve of the way the AAL team expresses their dislike for ALs.

For one I do not condone personal attacks. That means, I dislike the posting of personal friendster/facebook links, blog links, personal pictures, etc. Revealing a person's name is fine to me, but not the whole name. People deserve a little privacy and I think that should be respected. I have written posts about ALs before, and I only mentioned a few names as examples, and never in forms that can allow for their being identified, shamed, or cyber-bullied. I deem it more meaningful and constructive to focus on the general idiosyncrasies of their behaviours in a bid to bring them back onto the right paths faster than most of them normally would return to the straight path (i.e. before the age of 20).

I did air my displeasure with their penchant for pasting up pictures of ALs ripped out of the ALs' private blogs/friendster pages. Attempts to censor the pictures by strategically blocking parts of the face fell tragically flat when they pasted up the victim's friendster url. That's bullying as far as I'm concerned.

Abrupt as my switching of support from AAL to AALT2 might seem, I think it should be understood that I did so only out of my growing inability to stomach the fact that the AALs themselves were becoming the very things they sought to censure.

The conflict between AAL team and the ALs-at-large, has degenerated into an ugly brawl between "high-class and educated" ALs against the "low-class and not-so-educated" ALs. To me, plastering vulgarities all over your blog just cheapens your image and credibility. SO you might want to rethink about using vulgarities as well... =) After all, the moment you use the vulgarities Ah Lians use and stoop to their level, you become them and worse, seeing as to how they curse out of ignorance and yourselves, cockiness.

What makes an AL a AL goes beyond stupidity, rebonded hair and cheap clothes. It's the attitude as well. So if AAL is content going about bitching ALs on a personal level, they are just cyber ALs, period. As for the phrase-not afraid of "tsunamis" and "fire", well, it sounds like an average defensive, insecure and overly-defensive AL going "come larh, you think I scared ah". =P

By the way, AAL did use the word "Pandemic" correctly because they are using the rabid consumption of "DSLR related cam-whoring" as the context of an "infection disease" that is spreading across the AL population.

I agree that there is either good English or bad English. Unfortunately, there are many versions of English, so it's hard to say what is good English beyond good spelling, grammar and tenses.

I would assume that AAL team employs "standard" English to ensure that most ALs would understand them after all, your intent is to reform them, not mock at them senselessly with a holier-than-thou attitude, or is it? Based on my research, I can roughly conclude that ALs below 15 years of age still tend to use twit.

I prefer AALT2 because they are a lot more interactive and the focus is more on the stupidity and lack of maturity of ALs as a whole. I managed to talk and learn more about the reasons for why ALs chose to be deviant kids. Furthermore, they are willing to reverse their policies to respect the rights of the ALs on the individual level. They are a lot more respectable than AAL team in that sense.

Should the parents of Ah Lians/ Ah Bengs be blamed for their deviant behavior?

Ah Lians (ALs) and Ah Bengs (ABs) are such fascinating creatures. I really enjoy disturbing them by being the biggest kaypoh (busy body) to swing by their terrible blogs. I don’t kaypoh because I care for them, but because I’m gathering info! I usually target ALs because they are more emotionally unstable. Based on 6 months’ worth of data collection, when I talk about ALs, I’m talking about teenagers from 13-18 years old who share the following characteristics in varied combinations:

Self Inflated Ego- They like to think they are pretty, but most of them are plain Janes. They normally share the same re-bonded China-doll hair cut, thick make up and an awful taste in cheap clothing. I don’t have issues with rebonded hair and cheap clothes, but ALs have a remarkable talent in making nice hair and clothes look bad. As for thick make up, I think it should be reserved for Wayangs, note for the streets. They like to say stuff like “DM, you jealous of me right? Cos I’m so pretty…” Urgh, I rather die a virgin. What’s more, if you don’t think they are pretty or smart, they mutate into banshees that scream an endless barrage of vulgarities.

Sensitive- they can criticize you, you can't criticize them. They take it VERY personally. They'll threaten to burn down your house, whack you up and start challenge you for your real name, your home address, handphone number and your gender. And I suspect most ALs are homophobic, I guess they just want to get laid by every male that walks across their path in order to feel like they are "wanted" and "desirable". They take rejection personally too, they do threaten suicide (to me, its good riddance to bad rubbish).

Diarrhea of the Mouth, Constipation of the Brains (intellectual poverty)- I realize all ALs can’t debate. All they can do is swear and accuse people of being kaypoh. I find it incredibly amusing that when I leave comments, I get accusation of “stepping English” (since when was speaking standard English a sin?) or for being a kaypoh (I love being a kaypoh, anyone who has curiosity in them will be a kaypoh!). So far, a few ALs have “cursed” me to be childless in future, even AFTER I told them I refuse to have kids due to the 50% chance of them turning bad. The other word they like to use is slut/bastard. Well, pot calling the kettle black in most cases. Heh.

The word “dog”- I don’t know why they have to use the word “dog” on everyone, be it friend or foe. They don’t call people baboons, morons, jackasses, etc. From the Freudian perspective of symbolism, I would hypothesize that it’s a reflection of their behavior:

• They mate like dogs (multiple partners)
• Run in packs (their endless lines of gans and jies)
• Bark a lot (the endless barrage of vulgarities and empty threats)
• Howl to the moon (emotional outbursts at night about being lonely and unwanted by their family)
• Bitch bitch bitch (they are experts at that)
• Run off with their tails between their legs once they meet their betters
  

The inability to swear properly- They are masters of quantity, not quality. They feel very empowered using “f” words and other hokkien words. Unfortunately, their hokkien stinks to high heaven, the sentences often don’t make sense. For example- knn limbei you! (translated as: screw your mother, your father you). That doesn’t make sense doesn’t it? And the part that really made me flinch was the use of CCB by ALs, may their vaginas rot off from overuse.

Self destructive behavior- I find it very cute that they always glorify these three things: smoking, drinking and sex. I think these are activities that no under-aged kid in their right mind would do. What’s more, I’ve been trying to go to a few AL’s blogs to offer them “good advice”. Typical of their rebellious nature, most of the replies I’ve gotten are “who are you to tell me what to do? Stupid Kaypoh”, the nicer ones were “I don’t know who you are, thanks for the advice, but I’ll live my own life”. I have a question “Why is a stranger offering you good advice inferior to that of the gans and jies that teach you how to die of cancer or STD faster?”

If you aren't with me, you are against me- As long as you don't agree with "the" AL way, you are a nerd, even if you can't study. Either that or you're a retard, idiot, bodoh, huan loh, hongster, or whatever, even though you know you are smarter than them and a lot less flirtatious.

Mysterious creatures- no one understand them. Really, you see them declare this all over their blogs. Their teachers, parents, boyfriends and siblings don’t understand their insurmountable pain and anguish over lord know what. Nobody can understand why they do stupid stuff like getting knocked up and going for rounds of abortion. No one understand why they have to waste all their money on cigarettes and alcohol when they highest pay they can get is approximately $6/hr. No one understands why they take so many MCs and leave even though they are earning so little. No one knows why they prefer bad friends over good ones. No one knows why they want to go to NT or NA when they can perfectly well get into express. No one knows why some of them give up poly to join their bfs in ITE. No one knows why they still stay with a boyfriend who rather sleep than go out with them. Are they that stupid? Maybe.

After many scuffles with them, I realize they switch to the “sob” story after some time. They start to cite stories about having a single parent, stepparent from hell, lousy parents, etc. as a reason for their deviant behavior. I think that is a terrible excuse. I’ve met people who come from single parent families with that single parent being a shitty example of parenthood (gambling, loansharks, alcoholism, etc) but they still turned out find. Why? It’s because they have the ambition and determination to pull themselves out of the vicious cycle. So my point is ALs are weak in mind, body and soul. Some ALs reform and improve over time. But hey, a leopard never changes its spots- once an AL, forever an AL. I’ve known a few successful ALs, sadly, financial success couldn’t scrub off their liannie “aura”. Staff and associates would always whisper behind them what an AL she is. So what is a liannie “aura”? This is what I’ve gathered:

• Loud voice- they treat everyone like slaves that require regular rounds of verbal abuse.
• Overly suggestive dressing- most of these ladies are in their late 30s or 40s, most have sam-cham-bak (3 rolls of fat at the stomach region). They like to wear TIGHT clothes that make them look like this:
• Tries too hard to look modern- I’m sorry, re-bonded hair, spaghetti straps, mini-skirts and boots should never be a uniform of lady in her 40s. The effect is revolting.
• Tries too hard to show off her wealth- they like everything that screams money, such as diamonds and branded clothes. I know a liannie in her 40s. She loves Esprit and Ralph Lauren, but somehow, she couldn’t carry off those clothes. Everyone thought they were fakes. They like to decorate their homes with expensive but tasteless furniture. Pink and purple walls do not go well with rosewood furniture nor Da Vinci Sofas.
• The wrong clothes for the wrong occasion- I know a liannie who has to paint her nails beautifully before she goes out, even if it’s to the wet market. And she must wear her LV heels instead of slippers to the wet market. I don’t know what she’s trying to prove.
  

Such deviant behaviors has to start from somewhere. I believe that their parents should be blamed. Granted that most ALs are the worst examples of daughters any parent would want, but I still think parents need to play a more active role in nipping the flower in the bud. Children start to distance themselves from their family once they hit adolescence because it is a stage where, a developmental psychologist, Eric Erikson proposed as a period of “Identity Formation or Identity Confusion. They start to venture out into social groups to form a self identity outside their family.

At this stage, they are the most vulnerable to bad influences because their frontal cortexes are still under developed. Meaning, they are unable to think long term- they rather smoke because it’s cool rather than think of its long term impact on their health and looks. People’s frontal cortex is normally fully matured and stabilized when they hit 21 years old. Until then, I would say that it is the parents who should play a more active role in guiding their children until they are mature enough.

When I mean guiding a child, I don’t mean coddling the child and forcing him/her to do things the parents’ way because they said so. A compromise has to be reached through reasoning- children are not right all the time and neither are their parents. Teenagers need their independence, so parents shouldn’t deprive them of it. Instead, they should teach their teenagers how to obtain independence through responsibility. It can be as simple as making sure curfew times are not breached and how asking for extra allowances might be met if there is a valid reason so that they will learn how to spend within their means.

In the case of ALs, many are from broken families and by the time their parent(s) realize that their kid has mutated in a bitch from hell, it’s normally too late. The years of neglect have finally reflected on their parental incompetence. Their children hate them and hate everything that is associated with the words “good” and “decent”. Their children rather take advice from other hooligans than listen to their parent(s) pleas to be good, study hard and get a good job. When that happens, I always favor chopping those kids off and letting them learn how difficult life is if mum/dad isn’t paying for your living expenses. Let them learn how painful it is to earn a pathetic sum of money only to spend it on food and rent.

So are parents to blame when their kids go wild? Yes. There is always a possibility that a kid’s deviant behavior is learnt or inherited from his/her parent. I know of families with 3 generations of jail birds and school drop outs. So is it the genes, or maybe they learnt how to be bad from dad/mom? Who knows?

Although parents have a big part to play, I won’t deny that some teenagers are really hellish, particularly at the ages of 14-15. They are almost impossible to handle. But parents who are firm and strict enough on their children whilst they were growing up would have laid a firm foundation of discipline and respect. Their children may be deviant, but not to the extent of getting knocked up or hooked onto smoking. Negligent parents wouldn’t stand a chance unless their children are mature for their age. So we’re back to square one- parents should be blamed if their children disintegrate into a swarm of angry bees that sting anything that they perceive to be hostile.

I’m aware that some kids turn deviant because of parental abuse, or should I say “parental abuse”. Some call strict parenting abuse. If you think your parents caning you for swearing, coming back home late, smoking, failing your exams or getting into a fight is wrong, that sod you. You are a bloody self centered ingrate who just can’t recognize that your parents whack you because they want you to improve, not because they hate you. In this case, it’s clearly the kid’s fault and partially their parents’ fault for not realizing that caning is no longer a solution to the problem.

I don’t think there such a thing as “I give up hope, I tried everything and I still can’t correct him/her”. It’s a matter of catching them when they are young and instilling values into them. When they are young, they are like a “tabula rasa” (blank sheet of paper). They are still pure and clean, so as a parent, you write down the values you want them to uphold before that piece of paper becomes yellowed, brittle and crowded with negative values accumulated with age, bitterness and misunderstanding.

"What Is" Series- What is Bullying?

After I came home last night, I checked my blog and AALT2’s chatbox and surprise surprise, I saw Jeannie’s renewed threats and her god sister (Qitong)’s claims that I have bullied Jeannie. I didn’t know calling Jeannie stupid on the basis of spelling my name wrongly 3x was tantamount to bullying. If anything, I was wondering how on earth the pair of them can achieve that many spelling errors- “irratating”, “distuarb” (that appeared 2x, so I can assume that’s how she thinks disturb should be spelt) and “prossitude”. I pointed that out, called her stupid for her spelling errors and bimbotic attitude- so now I’m a bully.

All I can say is HAHAHAHAHAHA. =P I always had a morbid sense of humor that is coated with a thick layer of mockery and cynicism. It is ironic how it can become a crime in the eyes of a bully with a huge ego who thinks everyone is jealous of her beauty. I think there’s nothing to admire about a bimbo who can’t spell and speak coherently. So today, I’ve decided to write a post about bullying.

Basically, it defines bullying as “saying and doing things to hurt a person. It is usually done on purpose and repeatedly.” The video goes on to describe the types of bullying- relational, verbal and physical; the results of continuing to be a bully- friendless and getting scolding; the possible reactions of the victim- freeze in fear, fight back or walk away and complain to the teacher; the types of bystanders behavior- ignore the bullying, encourage the bully, support the victim or avenge the bully.

I think this is a very interesting video, but it is too optimistic and stereotypical for my liking. The bully is type casted as the typical “kiam-pah-bin” Ah Beng with his arrogantly, sour face and standing collar. And the victim is the typical village nerd… The points they highlighted were good, but they didn’t have to explore deeper expects of bullying. I’ll be highlighting some in my post.

Anyone who has an edge over others in terms of money, influence or knowledge can be said to be bullies. I would take it further through the exploration of a bully's desire for control and self gratification, and the malicious consequences.

This wasn’t highlighted much upon- most bullies have insecure personalities; they have to belittle others to feel good. Unfortunately, they belittle others the wrong way- for example, they call other people stupid when they are more stupid than others. And most bullies run in a pack- “birds of a feather flock together”. They need emotional and physical support in their actions, especially when they are at the losing end. They can only summon the courage to bully others with the backing of others. Ironically, when someone stands up to them, they go around crying for help claiming they have been bullied. Well, all I can say is, don’t look for trouble and complain when trouble finds you.

Bullies need to have control to feel good- people must scrape and bow before them. Once you demonstrate that you are not afraid of them, they normally react by ignoring you and saying stuff like you aren’t worthy of their attention. Alternatively, they switch tactics and embark on greater attempts to discredit you (relational bullying). I will be focusing a lot more on relational bullying because it is more common in today’s context than physical bullying and its effects are a lot deeper and long lasting. In the video, the example used was “don’t be friends with him!” In life, it goes way beyond that. As mentioned earlier, another form of relational bullying can come in the form is discrediting you. That means they go about spreading malicious tales about you. I.e. you are gay/lesbian, a gossip, a backstabber, a liar, a promiscuous bitch, etc. In the cyber world, you get criticisms about how fat and ugly you are if you post up your pictures and an “enemy” happens to see it.

In the working world, relational bullying is so prominent that it’s a norm. I’m sure you have heard of many stories of people resigning from their jobs because of bosses or colleagues from hell. These are due to the prevalence of certain factors.
a.EGO - Big ego means greater need to be a bully to feel good and powerful.
b.AMBITION – Big ambition means climbing up the corporate ladder FAST. If you don’t have the means to achieve promotions the “natural” way, backstabbing and sabotage is required.
c.BITCHY COLLEAGUES – “When in Rome, do as Romans do” you need to be a bigger bully than others to survive.
d.AGGRESSION – Some people are just plain aggressive, they are just hostile to everyone so that they feel superior to others.

Bullying has the most severe impact on people’s lives especially during their teenage years. This is the critical point in everyone’s life where there are many self doubts and insecurities regarding their looks. Many have committed suicide due to the unrelenting pressure exerted by bullies and themselves. To me, it takes two hands to clap- bullies get tired once they realize they have no hold over you.


Will I feel guilty if Jeannie jumps of the nearest HDB flat? Nah, I don’t have sympathy for weak people. If fact, I admire courage. Look at Yu-Kym, she got nominated for most insightful blog awards. I like her because she has the courage to stick to her guns. She openly posts pictures of herself on her blog and people just avidly criticize her for being a slut, how old she is, how ugly she is, what a copy cat she is, etc. Instead of being upset and shutting down her blog, she stands firm and continues to post her thoughts. I think she is a fantastic blog that all adolescents should read for the purpose of sex education and BGR experiences. I particularly like this proverb that she pasted on her blog: “Pigs are afraid of becoming fat, people are afraid of becoming popular."- meaning a healthy pig will be killed and eaten; a successful person will be a target. At least she has something to be successful about. She doesn’t brag; she relates that’s the reason why I will support her anytime over other promiscuous girls. It’s the ATTITUDE, something that the Ah Lians and Ah Bengs will never understand.

So back to the question- do I consider myself a bully? Maybe, what's your opinion guys? =) I insult everyone equally and fairly (including myself). I’m way too cynical I guess. No one is ever perfect enough for me to call pretty/beautiful- having a pretty face doesn’t mean that your fart will smell of roses nor does it mean you have the personality or intelligence to match your looks. Criticism should never be classified as bullying, especially when it is based on facts. I find it fitting that the real bullies in life find their own bullies in cyberspace, call it Karma if you will.

[Read more about relational bullying here]

Teenage Crisis Part 1

I extracted this from http://www.aalteam2.blogspot.com/ chatbox at 9.33am,

Aalteam are losers . Wow ,so long never come back . Okay then Ahlians their blogs you not happy don't see laah ,you crtzize it here too what . So ? (Details 10:18 pm Jul 8, 2009)
Aalteam are losers . So what if ahlians have lost it ,you know there't this thing call condoms ,noob as s . still say very clever . (Details 10:19 pm Jul 8, 2009)
Aalteam are losers . If you're really clever ,you would have shut down this blog and save yourselves from all this right ,stupid . (Details 10:20 pm Jul 8, 2009)
Maddie condoms ain't 100% safe, need pill too. (Details 10:27 pm Jul 8, 2009)
This Blog sucks ~ All sucks . Aalteam cum my lj . oral sexual lai lai . (Details 11:01 pm Jul 8, 2009 )
Zee Anti Twit to This Blog sucks ~ You better go for a checkup to ensure that you didn't acquire any STDs. (Details 11:17 pm Jul 8, 2009)

As you can see, there are two distinct camps here, the Pro-Ahlians (PAL) and the Anti-Ahlians (AAL). For the purpose of writing this essay, I have associated all immature adolescents as PALs due to the prevailing social trend of Ah Lians/Bengs versus the intellectual elite. In reality, I would point out that there are Ah Lians/Bengs within the population of intellectual elite. So please take the statements and arguments with a barrel of salt due to their general nature.

I’ve been following this blog for long time because I find the general intelligence of the PAL group somewhat lacking along with their EQ and maturity levels. As you can see from this conversation:
“Aalteam are losers” can barely type in legible English with bad grammar, sentence structure and spelling. To top it off, he/she has a very warped cognitive construction of the world around him/her. For example, “Aalteam are losers” once said something along the lines of “I know my grammar is not good, why do you guys keep showing off”. I was quite taken aback when I saw that statement; must people lower their standard of English to suit you? People aren’t showing off, they were correcting your English, instead of learning from it, he/she is hitting back with the accusation that we are showing off??? It somehow brings into mind the concept of “Elite Envy”- the poor and uneducated in history have always detested the rich whom they saw as their oppressors who were nothing but show-offs and wastrels. I wouldn’t say that their sentiments are entirely wrong because people who come from old money tend to be wastrels and the nouveau riche do tend to be show-offs. But that’s not the point, have the PALs reached the point of learned helplessness? Are their offensive, often irrational and shallow behavior a by-product of a defense strategy to protect their vulnerable egos and fragile pride?

“This blog sucks” is one heck of disturbed person in my opinion. About two days back, he signed is as “Kelvin <3”, his message was the same- “All sucks . Aalteam cum my lj . oral sexual lai lai .” As the conversation progresses, he kept repeating the demands for oral sex. I know the teenage years are fraught with hormonal overdose and what not, but this kid is just plain disturbing. He is SO desperate that he has to ask for blow jobs online. If that isn’t bad, he kept demanding for other people’s MSN or hp number so that the “issue” can be discussed properly. If he had the intellectual capacity that bordered the authors of AALT2, I might have considered giving him my email. However, he proved himself to be nothing more than a deranged sex addict with a brain the size of his fingernail. I told him I would scold anyone who swears over the roof and doesn’t behave like a gentleman/lady, only to get a retort that I speak like a gay/lesbian. That really made me raise an eyebrow, the last time I checked, gays and lesbians were more human than him because they weren’t deranged sex addicts.

If that wasn’t enough, he kept challenging me “are you scared” just because I took some time to reply him… I was talking to WK and Mavis at that time, so my response rate was relatively retarded. Does his ego need an admission that everyone was in fear of his sexual depravity and small brain?

Based on the conversations with people from the PAL camp, I can identify a general trend- they are
1.Aggressive- challenging you for meet ups/confrontations.

2.Shallow- they like to say “who gives you a right to criticize Ah Lians”. Well, everyone can criticize anyone who doesn’t study well, can’t get a good job or can’t even speak in a civilized manner without swearing or insulting each other’s parents/sexual anatomy.

3.Vanity- aal#1 of aalteam.blogspot.com made comments about how skinny jeans made people’s feet look big in her opinion. That started an avalanche of comments from people screeching along the lines of “my mother wears skinnies too! Does that make her an Ah Lian? Use your brain la”.

4.The world exists in absolutes- The “skinny jeans outrage” was also extended to comments that Ah Lians have rebonded hair, the point was issued from the standpoint that most Ah Lians have rebonded hair. Typical Ah Lians will start harping on “what’s wrong with having rebonded hair”, taking the statement point blank. Rebonded hair is not the pure dominion of Ah Lians, some people do have messy hair and rebonding is a method of taming it.

5.Immature- I’ve lost count of the number of teenage pregnancy case studies that I’ve been reading. It seems the general thought shared my teenage mum was that their boyfriends really loved and cared for them. Sadly, most of their boyfriends were pretty quick at scrambling away at the first time of trouble. I’ve seen boyfriends deny being the cause of pregnancy. That’s plain irresponsible. To me, if your boyfriend were to really love and care for you, he would have made attempts to protect you from pregnancy until you are psychologically, emotionally, and financially ready to bring up a child in a healthy and stable environment.

6.Perception of infallibility- thanks to sex education in Singapore, I will NEVER believe it when any pregnant teenager insists that she and her boyfriend have never heard of contraceptives. Even so, why is there such a soaring rate of teenage pregnancies? It has to do with their perception of infallibility; they think the chances of getting pregnant are quite low. If they did a better job at studying, they might realize how badly stacked the odds are against that perception.

7.Myopic- I have met a PAL commenter who once said “What’s wrong with not wanting to study? Get good jobs for what?”. All I could say to that person was that he/she has really let down his/her parents and society. If you think being a useful person with a good job in society isn’t worthy of consideration, well you sure are disappointing… I believe in the Chinese idiom 先苦后甜 (suffer first, enjoy later).

8.Low Self-Esteem- I think cam-whoring is a manifestation of low self-esteem because they need constant reassurances that they look good.

9.Inferiority Complex- I have no idea why, but Ah Lians like to think that everyone is jealous of their good looks. You'll see this statement issued liberally whenever criticism regarding their dress sense and make up is generated. This superiority complex stems from underlying inferiority complex. In psychology, we call that reaction formation- converting unconscious wishes or impulses that are perceived to be dangerous into their opposites; behavior that is completely the opposite of what one really wants or feels; taking the opposite belief because the true belief causes anxiety.

For some teenagers, the adolescent period is fraught with difficulty, some pass through it with little difficulty. I hypothesize that it has to do with one’s mental age aka psychological maturity. Most developmental psychologists agree that the ages between 13 and 15 are the “rough patch” where most teenagers end up cranky one way or another. I was nearly kicked out of school thanks to poor grades when I was 14, that sobered me up plenty. Unfortunately, many teenagers sober up only when they enter the working world and realize that it is difficult to earn money. Even so, many of them still do not make a conscious effort to save up for their retirement. From talks I had with teenagers, they think CPF is enough for retirement. I won’t say that teenagers are wholly incapable of saving because many of them save hard for their immediate wants, such as a new Apple iPhone 3G, new branded sunglasses, Coach handbags and what not… Personally, I wouldn’t label these expenditures as prudent or necessary.

However, they are at the age where they are most susceptible to peer pressure, they do stupid things to preserve friendships. Thankfully I learnt that friends are temporary figures in my life when I was in primary school thanks to a traumatizing incident. Needless to say, I still baffle many of my friends as to why I never allow myself and them to form close emotional attachments or mutual trust.

Developmental Psychologist Erik Erikson created the model of Psycho-socio Development. He proposes the adolescent period as a period of “Identity formation vs role confusion”. To summarize it, he proposes that during this period people either form and identity for themselves or suffer from identity confusion- meaning they have a lot of self doubts as to what they are to themselves, to others and what they want to do. I think many of PALs are mindless followers when it comes to peer pressure due to them being fixated at the stage of identity confusion. Perhaps in time, they might overcome this stage and mature emotionally and mentally.

* These comments are formed using studies I’ve made regarding teenage pregnancies and psychology which I have adapted to suit the local context.
** There is no established notion that ALL the people from the PAL camp are Ah Lians/Bengs.

On Stereotyping

Where stereotyping is concerned, the concerns have mainly been about two things. First, whether it is fair to do so, and second, whether such an act of categorisation would result in people feeling indignant or insecure.

But then again, stereotypes wouldn't exist if they haven't been an element of fact based upon them.

The questions i want to explore here are as such:

First, to what extent it is justified to put certain groups of people (for this post, this curious category called Ah-Lians, or ALs in short) in stereotypes?

Second, what about those people who have some, but not all of the characteristics that makes an AL an AL, but whom you and i would know if we meet them, are not.

Third, the effects of stereotyping on the AL community itself.


The curious thing about ALs are that, they defy efforts by people to understand them. By "people", i mean the ordinary, mainstream, arguably institutionalised people, like myself and people of my socio-cultural category.

This is because using the mindset of the disciplined, rational mind to understand that category has this element of bias.

Because they are different, so we say they are undisciplined, irrational, et cetera.

People would say, "well, but that's true about them!" but the problem i'm illustrating here is that we can use words like "rough", "vulgar" to describe them, but they wouldn't use the same words to describe themselves.

So there is no such thing as objective understanding, because we're using a different language from that sub-culture.

Anyway, to what extent is all that stereotyping justified?

in my opinion, if we want to categorise ALs into that specific category, they will have to meet criteria more than just those we normally know, like:

How they dress,

How they speak,

Their world-view (if they have one)

The problem highlighted here is that stereotypes exist when sub-cultures are formed. Sub-cultures have distinct identities that make them unique. When these identities are amplified, they become stereotypes. Strictly speaking therefore, ALs haven't formed such a sub-culture yet. they are just a collective of people that falls out of the social category so-called "mainstream".

This addresses the second topic in my post. people who share some, but not all, of these characteristics need not be ALs,

Firstly, precisely because they don't have all the qualities,

And secondly, because they cannot be said to belong to that sub-culture of ALs, because that sub-culture doesn't quite exist.

Of course, that's not to say they wouldn't be put into that category, because after all, since stereotypes are amplified identities, display some of these characteristics is itself an act of amplification.

So for those who like to wear casual, here's some advice:

Dress according to the occasion. this is an important act of differentiation, because a discerning, intelligent person would be able to do that. It shows the degree of awareness one has on her position relative to others in society.

Don't call casual clothing stylish. I know style is subjective, but clothing designed and worn for functional reasons of comfort can rarely be called stylish.

A personal touch. This is the toughest thing to do, but the most important. The problem with ALs is that they don't have personality in their dress-sense, so a personal touch would instantly create a sense of personality and put you on a different league.

But here's a disclaimer: I'm no fashion expert, so all that i'm saying is just some advice for anyone who wants not to be associated with ALs.

Lastly, what's the impact of stereotyping?

The most obvious would be the creation of the sub-culture itself. Stereotyping creates identity amongst people who have these characteristics. People who don't like such identities change themselves and hence depart from that category, but those who keep those identities consolidate themselves and form a sub-culture.

When that happens, then you have a real AL community.

The ramifications?

If you don't like them, too bad, you're got to live with them. That's because it is too late to change them, since they have consolidated their identities and are now proud of it. no amount of shaming or condemnation will work.

If you do like them, you'll probably join them. and we all know the consequences of that.

The issue with stereotyping

I always found the issue of perception amusing, especially the way people relate themselves to a stereotype.

For example, in AAL or AALT2 's blog, they never created a list of Ah Lians (ALs for short), they merely came up with a list of AL like traits.
1. The compulsion to use Twit or really bad English
- So far, all the AL blogs that I visited usually demonstrate really, really bad English. They tend to spell “rebond” as “reborn” as a trend, and the sentence structure and grammar were tragic. There are no attempts to form proper sentence structures and they demonstrate very little thoughts about their surrounds. Their entries are normally to do with their daily activities and quarrels with their boyfriends. (Nothing wrong with that, but it gets boring…)
2. Their almost-identical physical appearances:
a. bad dress sense
-usually mini shorts/ skinnies and tight tops
b. rebonded hair
- which branches into the China-doll or layered cut
3. Their character issues:
a. tendency to spout expletives thoughtlessly, with no regard for whether or not the situation calls for it
-I think this is just plain crude and ugly
b. extremely high self-esteem externally
-they prefer to believe that people stare at them out of jealousy rather than curiosity
c. very insecure internally
-I noticed how they tend to be very emotionally needy, that’s where the concept of “must-have-a-boyfriend” and “must-accrue-as-many-gans-and-jie/meis”. For some reason, they gain security in groups. In a sense, I would conclude that they lack individuality.
d. very aggressive
- I have no idea why a lot of ALs like to challenge AAL and AALT2 to meet them out for an all out brawl with their “gans” and what not.
e. defiant and arrogant
-I’ve never met people who are more certain of their infallibility.
f. the need to act cute& cam-whoring
-I think they take the need to act cute a bit too far, from photoshop-ing their eyes to achieve the “hamtaro-look”, to the artificial dimpling (by stuffing a finger into their cheek), etc
** Please note that these are my personal comments.

Recently, someone did ask this question (along this line) on AALT2’s tagboard “I have some of these traits, am I an AL?” Well, all I can say is, it depends. Do you think you are an AL? Do others think you are an AL? If it’s a common consensus, than I guess you’re an AL.

There has never been a list of AL names on either of the Anti-Ah-Lian blogs, but yet, there are people who post comments like “how dare you talk about me”, “who are you to criticize Ah Lians”, etc. And Evone brought up this question “what if I don’t want to be stereotyped as an AL?” I would like to explore the concept of stereotyping.

Stereotypes have occurred since the dawn of time. It probably started for social, economic and biological reasons. By creating different social groups, people could prioritize who to best share their resources with. It is hypothesized that people would favor family members first, especially young healthy members who are capable of procreating the next generation. In terms of the community, stereotyping was a form of protection. People in the “In-group” would share their resources with each other whereas those people deemed to be in the “Out-group” would be helped if the resources would more than sufficient for “in-group” members. “In-group” members normally share a genetic link, common social identity, religion, etc.

Evone was probably more upset about being stereotyped in a negative social group. Even then, stereotypes are relatively porous in nature. There are many sub-groups and sub-definitions. There are educated-ALs, vulgar-ALs, bimbotic-ALs, etc. As a result, there is no way of properly defining what it takes to be an AL. It’s a subjective definition and interpretation. It is different from an Ethnic stereotype where there is a proper definition based on shared identity, tradition and genetic factors. Hence, I would conclude that stereotypes are dependent on the perception of the self and the perception of others. The census determines your place in society.