Are Singaporean parents Authoritative or Negligent when bringing up their children?

This post will be an extension of my previous post- "Should the parents of Ah Lians/ Ah Bengs be blamed for their deviant behavior". This time I will focus more on the parenting techniques identified by psychologists and what kind of children do they create.

Have you guys realized that over the past 10 years, there has been a sudden boom in the market for family/parent related magazines, forums and websites? In my opinion, this sudden surge in parenting interest could be due to the following factors:

-More highly educated parents who believe in the virtue of using “science” to establish the “best” parenting style for their children.
-Guilt that parents aren’t spending enough time with their children
-Increased social pressure to be nothing but the best. So parents want the best kids and hope to achieve that through the best parenting approach.

So what parenting styles are there? A psychologist named Barumrind came up with the concept of a tripartite classification of parenting styles in 1967 using four orthogonal dimensions- consistent discipline, maturity demands, destructiveness and encouragement of independent conducts. This results in 4 types of parenting styles: Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive and Neglecting.

This model is way too US centric anyway. =) In local Asian culture, beating children who are naughty is NOT considered abusive as long as it doesn't cross the line of causing the child long term emotional, psychological and physical trauma/injury.  In the US system, they don't hold to the "spare the rod and spoil the child" ideology, so Asian parenting styles are classified as Authoritarian parenting simply because they lack the element of warmth. The Asian and European perception of warmth differs greatly. To Europeans, warmth/love is expressed through physical expressions of affection, such as hugs and kisses. To Asians however, warmth/love is expressed through less "intense" means such as cooking herbal chicken soup, nagging, caning a child when he/she is naughty, etc.

It is commonly excepted that the Authoritative parenting style is the most effective, especialy if parents adopt a democratic approach to parenting (as suggested by Baldwin et. al. in their 1955 paper). The democratic approach refers to parents who communicate the demands of the real world to thier children instead of their personal demands.

Given the penchant of Asian parents issuing orders to their children on what to do and what not to do, punishing disobedience with physical (canning), emotional (locking children out of the house) or verbal (shouting) aggression, Europeans think that Asians only practice the Authoritarian style of parenting, which generally creates more obedient and submissive children who appear to be less spontaneous, curious and creative. However, I would like to question- are Asian children obedient and submissive because of their parents or because of cultural norms?

Ask any Asian parent and they will tell you that they cane their children because they love them not and it is for their own good. Asian parents would also say that they make decisions for their children because their children are not ready to make an informed choice. These examples clearly violate the typical American belief that punishing children would result in nothing parental abuse in the long run and that children should be given the independence to make their own decisions in life.

In other words, Asian parenting should resemble the Authoritative model, so it should be within healthy boundaries. Unfortunately, the model does not account for additional factors such as parental kiasu-ism and having the fostering of parenting duties to maids.

To me, I think Singaporean children are over stressed by their parents' expectations of them. Furthermore, given our traditional beliefs, many Singaporean children today can't differentiate between what they want and what their parents want out of them. Somewhere, somehow the line got blurred along time. I think it’s just plain sad that many of the teenagers I’ve met don’t know what they are doing in life. They are just caught in the web of confusion stemming from a loss in life goals.

With the increased affluence among Singaporeans stemming from having both parents working full time, I would suggest that many Singaporean children suffer from emotional neglect even though their daily needs are met by their maids. For one, their parents return home late at night tired and irritated from a hard day at work. They usually spend a little time with their children but do not want to be bothered by their children’s constant demands for attention. I’ve seen parents telling their kids to go watch TV whenever their kids try to start a conversation on mundane stuff like “Daddy, Mummy, today my friend had a birthday party in school! We had a lot of balloons, than her parents brought ... … …” (you know children and their endless capacity for chatter).

I think Asian parents need to move on with time, given the exposure to western ideals that their children gain from watching television, young children today expect their parents to express more caring questions that most American parents typically portray in movies. These questions could be as simple as “how was your day in school?” or “did you enjoy yourself with your friends?”. This expectation failed quite badly in the face in typical Asian brusque mentality where the most likely question that children receive when they reach home after school would be “do you have any homework?”, “do you have any tests coming up?” or “any results out?”. That’s quite disheartening.

I also think parenting standards have dropped a lot in Singapore. I’ve met parents, who are blissfully ignorant of their child’s favorite dish, what time the child has to go to school, and the worst sin of all, they forgot their child’s birthday. And the saddest part of all, it is often the maid who remembers all of these. Parents leave their maids to make sure that their children have been fed, showered and have done their homework. Which inevitably, leads us to this conundrum of mine once more: "Are Singaporean Parents Authoritative in their approach but Negligent to their child's emotional needs?"

Singapore-the Club of Inspiring Elitists who should learn the value of shutting up if they can't do better

Recently, Ris Low came into the spotlight when everyone started critizing her English- "How on EARTH could someone of her calibre represent Singapore?? So MALU!!" Initially, I was nodding my head in full hearted agreement because she wasn't exactly what I would call "beautiful" or "hot" and her English was a monumental tragedy! She was obviously inarticulate and has trouble trying to organize and express her thoughts and feelings. The words that came out of her mouth were jumbled messes that were in a hurry to run out and trip over each other. The words she employed were really simple and weird...

Furthermore, I felt that she just revealed her ignorance with regards to South Africa when answering question about African-inspired fashion. It’s not just about leopard prints and zebras… In fact, most of the African inspired fashion is largely based on traditional tribal designs based on geometric patterns! The emphasis is on clothes that are outdoor look, color and comfort. Leopard prints and feathers are largely a by-product of the imposition of western ideals on a backward nation. The people there rarely wear fur and feathers except for tribal festivities, simply because it’s too damn hot.

This is an example of Safari-inspired Fashion:

I disagree with her idea of how to carry off animal prints without looking trashy, but I won’t go into it beyond the point “less is more” and no “mix and match”. I would also like to add that fashion is NOT about yourself… The opinion of others DO matter, they decide if you look like an ass or elegant. Your personal opinions do not matter in this case. So back to the old girl, is it that embarrassing to have her as a representative of Singapore? I thought of this question overnight and watched this video again. Surprisingly, I found myself reaching some new conclusions.

1.Nervousness
It is possible to attribute her extreme self-centered speech and bad choice of words to her nervousness. It was quite clear from her body language that she was very nervous. But if that’s the case, would she make a suitable representative for Singapore? She might be required to do speeches and rub shoulders with the political/industrial elites, would her nervousness make her look like a terrible village idiot?

2. Long tongue
I would attribute the countless mispronunciations to her long tongue, or at least I think she has a long tongue. She always sounds like she’s slurping her words. So can’t really blame her for that.

3. Ignorance
Singapore is a country with literate people who are both knowledgeable and yet ignorant in their own way. Thanks to our education system, our knowledge of the world is limited to what we can learn from the success of EMDCs and the reasons why ELDCs still cannot make it. Little effort is done to highlight the failures of EMDCs and how ELDCs do achieve successes slowly but ultimately. I’m hardly surprised when most of the Singaporeans I’ve spoke to:

- think that South Africa refers to the entire African continent
- have no idea that Egypt is part of the African continents
- have no idea what Biltong is
- are blissfully unaware that South Africa isn't just full of Savannas, there are deserts and jungles too! (I dunno how Singaporeans pass their geography exams)
- think the all of Africa still practices animalist worship. WRONG, some African cultures/tribes have been practicing Islam and Christianity as well for hundreds of years.
- are completely ignorant the South Africa is one of the MOST dangerous countries in the world (SA makes the US look safe).

Judging from such communal ignorance, who are we blame her for being ignorant when her strongest critics often need to look at themselves in the mirror first? I refuse to believe it when people insist they are NOT ignorant- rubbish, you can never know enough.

4. Age
She's only nineteen, some might say she should be mature enough, but I beg to differ. Unless she has a voracious appetite for books, nineteen is still the age of innocence and ignorance. She has yet to achieve the financial and emotional independence to see the world as it truly is. Nineteen is still the age where people think that the world is their piece of cake and opportunites for success are open and equal for everyone. They stil need to learn that whilst everyone is equal in society, there are some who are more equal than others. It is at the age where they still think about themselves first over others, the day they start putting others before themselves is the day where they full achieve maturity.

So is it a tragedy for her to represent Singapore? Are her critics any better than her? I always believed that criticism should be constructive and one should not criticize others unless one can prove to be better. I would openly criticize Ris Low because I believe that I’m way better than her in terms of worldly knowledge, fashion sense and linguistic expression. However, I will admit that I’m chronically shy when it comes to talking in front of a group of people. So fair is fair, I’ll shut up because I lost to her in one field.

Now let me move on to bitch about the other Singaporean critics! The main criticism is leveled at her language. I used to think Singapore was a place where good English was heavily prized. That ideal was smashed when I entered the working world. Based on emails and phone calls with “graduates”, “lowly clerks” and “warehouse guys”, I can safely say “Good English does NOT exist anywhere”. The good English that I see are usually from graduates, who consciously remember to follow grammatical rules and punctuations, and from Caucasians. However, it must be noted that not all Caucasians use good English, I’ve met some with worse English than an average kid from primary 6. So does good English have to be a must have for a representative in Singapore?

If you’ve noticed, Singapore has a culture of over-prizing graduate beauty queens. Our beauty queens- Rachel Kum, Joanne Peh and Felicia Chin are highly popular because of their status as graduates! They are seen as the “smarter breed”. However, is that true? They are as human as anyone of us, are we creating an artificial benchmark for them as well as ourselves to reach? What’s wrong with diploma or NT students representing Singapore? They are not part of the elitist culture, but they ARE part of our Singapore culture aren’t they?

For too long we have been obsessed with the idea that only the best of Singapore would be shown to the world, with the other “undesirable” aspects conveniently being swept under the carpet, away from the curious eyes of “foreign investors and dignitaries”. Should we give them a chance to appear in the limelight for once and accept them as they are? They are integral aspects of the culture after all, and the elitist club members are by no means perfect themselves…

As my friend SH said, such competitions are useless beyond their entertainment value. So what's the point of having such competitions anyway? It is all pointless competition engaging pointless people inviting pointless critics. Shouldn't such resources be channeled to more constructive activities such as saving Taiwanese flood victims? After all, the title of beauty queen is just a temporary crown, temporary fame and unnecessary pressure to create a farcical "virtuous image". I could only shake my head sadly when the public insisted that Rachel Kum be stripped of her status as beauty queen just because of some suggestive pictures of her being posted online. Must the public always pretend to have this moral high ground? I’m sure everyone had their heydays that they would rather not mention to their kids today. It’s just a meaningless competition for an empty crown, there’s no need to hold up their personal flaws against them- nobody is perfect.

Guest Post: SMRT

Response to WK's No Eating or Drinking: Fine $500 post
WRITTEN BY: MING FENG
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2009: SMRT introduces the complete ban on consuming all form of food, including plain water, on all trains.

2011: SMRT bans sleeping on trains, the rationale being "dunno, just for the heck of it." Offenders are fined $500.

2012: The notorious East-West line claims the first victim, who died of dehydration after attempting to ride from Pasir Ris to Joo Koon.

2013: Fine raised from $500 to $5,000.

2013: Fine raised from $5,000 to $50,000.

2013: Fine raised from $50,000 to $500,000.

2014: SMRT bans singing, loud handphones, talking louder than 45 decibels, not keeping to the left on escalators and not giving way to alighting passengers, as part of their motto of "Moving People, Enhancing Lives".

2015: SMRT renamed to SMaRT despite their rules being quite on the contrary. SMaRT changes motto to "Moving People, OUR Way".

2016: SMaRT bans inhaling of plain water, after one commuter attempted to justify the ingestion of plain water through the nose as "inhaling, and not drinking, and therefore you can't fine the shit out of me". The man was detained for being a public nuisance.

2018: 172 people died from dehydration while attempting the "Coast to Coast" feat, riding from Pasir Ris to Joo Koon without alighting to drink water. Local adventurer Mr S.C Khoo becomes the first man in the world to succeed in this feat, becoming a national hero once again.

2019: SMaRT caught 783,402 people attempting to drink or inhale plain water on the train, and decided to make smuggling more than 18 grams of plain water into trains a capital offence. In the same year, SMaRT declares a profit of $402 billion, a world record for a public transport company, while denying that fines make up the bulk of their profits.

2019: First person executed for attempting to smuggle a bottle of NeWater into trains.

2021: A commuter with 18kg of plain water strapped to his body, managed run through the water detector gates, evade pursuing station officers, and charged through the ticket gantry without paying. He later disappeared into the peak hour crowd and was last seen distributing water on the platform. The Water Bearer, as he was later affectionately known among commuters, was branded a hero by the people but was never seen attempting the feat again. SMaRT arms their station officers with police-issued MP5 submachine guns after the infamous incident. The SMaRT management deals with the humiliation by likening the Water Bearer's actions to that of "a terrorist, a suicide bomber", and threatens to shoot any commuter attempting to emulate the Water Bearer.

2027: To solve the problem of commuters not giving up seats to the elderly, the pregnant and the handicapped, SMaRT bans the elderly, the pregnant and the handicapped from taking trains. SMaRT buys over SBS Transit.

2030: After a nine-year hunt, the Water Bearer was finally caught and was due to be sentenced to death. However, he escaped through the window inside one of the toilets in a detention facility. The notorious Window was last reinforced in 2008 when a wanted terrorist escaped through it. The Water Bearer was never seen again, despite eye-witnesses reported seeing him swimming in the Straits of Malacca with a flotation device fashioned out of 180 NeWater bottles hours after he was reported missing.

2034: The number of deaths related to the plain water drinking ban exceeds that of the Death Railway, earning SMaRT the nickname of "The Death Transit".

2035: SMaRT successfully monopolises public transport after completing the buyover of ComfortDelgro. The people likened the move to an experience similar to the Japanese Occupation. SMaRT shot down the claim, saying nobody in this generation has ever been through the Japanese Occupation, and therefore there is no basis of comparison. SMaRT ridership at an all-time low.

2036: In a brilliant collaboration with the government, private transport, including bicycles and tricycles, are completely banned from the roads. SMaRT encourages the people to take their world class public transport service. SMaRT ridership at an all-time high. SMaRT embarks on the Great Leap Forward programme, massively and rapidly expanding their transport services.

2038: Taxi flag down rates raised to $24.40. Bus fares increased by 600%.

2048: Taxi flag down rates raised to $96.70. Bus fares increased by 600%.

2086: Great Leap Forward ends. There are now 666 kilometres of train tracks serving every corner of Singapore, including previously inaccessible places like the Live Firing Area, Pulau Brani, Pulau Sudong, Jurong Island, Pulau Ubin and Pulau Tekong. Batam extension opens. There is one taxi for every four people, and one bus for every 12. SMaRT employees make up more than half of the 15 million people in Singapore.

2987: SMaRT celebrates 1000 years of public transport service.

The Political Opposition

From The Blue Sweater, posted 4 September 2009

Ok, before I begin, the disclaimer:

First, this essay is about politics, but aims only to reflect on the realities of political opposition in Singapore.

Second, this is NOT a Political Science essay. So for any of my PS friends reading this, please don’t take it so seriously...

Alright, now I can start... though I seriously wonder whether those disclaimers are necessary in the first place.

There has been much news about opposition parties in general recently. Japan had a historic change in its politics, when the opposition Democratic Party of Japan (DPJ) ended the 55-year rule of the Liberal Democratic Party (LDP).

In Singapore, the opposition party PKMS hit the headlines (and made a fool of themselves) after fights broke out due to power struggles within the party. All these events made the discussion with a friend of mine today all the more meaningful.

A friend of mine took a module on politics in Singapore, and I was approached for ideas, as I took the same module during Special Semester.

I was given this question, which is not strictly a political science question, but nevertheless is related somewhat to the topic of Singapore politics: “I know some people who vote opposition, but when asked why, they didn’t have a real reason, other than ‘I just don’t like the PAP.’ How does it make sense?”

Well, my initial thought was that it simply doesn’t make sense. I was initially inclined to say that these voters are simply irrational, but then again, I personally felt that wasn’t really answering the question.

So I adopted a different approach to the question, that is, I wanted to address the question “Why do people vote opposition in the first place”.

I thought of three possible reasons.

First, there are people who simply do not support the PAP as it is. People might be dissatisfied with its elitism, the conservatism, or the political ideology of the party.

Second, there are people who sincerely believe that there should be more space and opportunities for the opposition. This is because of the belief that a true democracy is one in which ruling and opposition parties can compete on an equal basis, which is a situation that does not happen in Singapore. In addition, there is the desire for the greater presence of opposition in parliament, so that there is more debate and alternative voices in parliament.

Of course, one might rebut by arguing the role of the Nominated MPs in parliament, but the problem is, though NMPs are non-partisan by nature, they are screened by a PAP-dominated panel, which affects the neutrality of the NMPs.

Third, and more importantly, there are people who do not benefit, or are even marginalised by PAP policy. PAP policies and schemes might not have benefited them, and there are important structural contradictions in some of the government’s policy, such as the contradiction between cosmopolitanism and building national identity, between embracing globalisation and coping with the problems and challenges associated with it, such as the “digital divide”, which marginalises the older generation who lack the IT skills necessary in the digitised job market.

Though there are issues, it is ultimately important to note that these factors are ultimately inconsequential. Political opposition in Singapore is ultimately too weak, for a variety of reasons, to effectively challenge the PAP government (I won’t get to the reasons, one can write an entire essay out of these reasons, which I decline, having already done so just last semester). We are very unlikely, in the foreseeable future, to see the situation in Japan, when a long-ruling party is simply brought to its knees.

Nevertheless, I feel there is an important lesson for the PAP. The ineffective handling of national problems and issues can lead to public disillusionment. The PAP will not see the situation as that in Japan, but public dissatisfaction is easily manifested in the electoral swings, as evident in the PAP’s troubled years of 1980 and 1984.

Why De Maitre stopped supporting AAL team

Did you know there is a new Anti-AAL blog up? =) No, I don't hate the blog. Love it so far because it is actually in good English!! Today, I want to talk about why I withdrew my support for AAL team even though I hate ALs. Unfortunately, the comment I left on WHAAL was a tragic parody of my usual standard of English. Learn from me guys, sleep deprivations turns you into a blubbering mass with badly expressed opinions. Ivans' parents are right, you need sleep to function well. Heh, unfortunately, I'm still going to be sleep deprived, so bear with me.

So there, with the help of my friend (who wants to remain anonymous for now) correcting my English, I'm going to repost up my comment.

The reason why I withdrew my support for AAL team even though I dislike ALs was because I think they have crossed the line of decency. Insulting a collective group of people who share common deviant behavioral traits is fine to me. BUT I certainly don't approve of the way the AAL team expresses their dislike for ALs.

For one I do not condone personal attacks. That means, I dislike the posting of personal friendster/facebook links, blog links, personal pictures, etc. Revealing a person's name is fine to me, but not the whole name. People deserve a little privacy and I think that should be respected. I have written posts about ALs before, and I only mentioned a few names as examples, and never in forms that can allow for their being identified, shamed, or cyber-bullied. I deem it more meaningful and constructive to focus on the general idiosyncrasies of their behaviours in a bid to bring them back onto the right paths faster than most of them normally would return to the straight path (i.e. before the age of 20).

I did air my displeasure with their penchant for pasting up pictures of ALs ripped out of the ALs' private blogs/friendster pages. Attempts to censor the pictures by strategically blocking parts of the face fell tragically flat when they pasted up the victim's friendster url. That's bullying as far as I'm concerned.

Abrupt as my switching of support from AAL to AALT2 might seem, I think it should be understood that I did so only out of my growing inability to stomach the fact that the AALs themselves were becoming the very things they sought to censure.

The conflict between AAL team and the ALs-at-large, has degenerated into an ugly brawl between "high-class and educated" ALs against the "low-class and not-so-educated" ALs. To me, plastering vulgarities all over your blog just cheapens your image and credibility. SO you might want to rethink about using vulgarities as well... =) After all, the moment you use the vulgarities Ah Lians use and stoop to their level, you become them and worse, seeing as to how they curse out of ignorance and yourselves, cockiness.

What makes an AL a AL goes beyond stupidity, rebonded hair and cheap clothes. It's the attitude as well. So if AAL is content going about bitching ALs on a personal level, they are just cyber ALs, period. As for the phrase-not afraid of "tsunamis" and "fire", well, it sounds like an average defensive, insecure and overly-defensive AL going "come larh, you think I scared ah". =P

By the way, AAL did use the word "Pandemic" correctly because they are using the rabid consumption of "DSLR related cam-whoring" as the context of an "infection disease" that is spreading across the AL population.

I agree that there is either good English or bad English. Unfortunately, there are many versions of English, so it's hard to say what is good English beyond good spelling, grammar and tenses.

I would assume that AAL team employs "standard" English to ensure that most ALs would understand them after all, your intent is to reform them, not mock at them senselessly with a holier-than-thou attitude, or is it? Based on my research, I can roughly conclude that ALs below 15 years of age still tend to use twit.

I prefer AALT2 because they are a lot more interactive and the focus is more on the stupidity and lack of maturity of ALs as a whole. I managed to talk and learn more about the reasons for why ALs chose to be deviant kids. Furthermore, they are willing to reverse their policies to respect the rights of the ALs on the individual level. They are a lot more respectable than AAL team in that sense.

The war against Obesity

WK did a post on food called "It's What You Eat, And How You Eat" before. Today, I will explore the reasons why people are obese.

Most Singaporeans are so caught up in the pursuit of the slim image of perfection that fat people are looked down upon without being understood. I would admit that I used to look down on fat people as slobs who sweat a lot and smell funny (I have a sensitive nose). But I've changed my perceptions of them a little as I grew older and researched a little more into obesity.

Not all fat people are slobs
I've met fat people who exercise more than me, eat less than me and work more than me. I feel so ashamed. For the record, not all fat people are obese because they eat unhealthily and do not exercise. Genes do play an important role, namely the FTO gene.

People carrying one copy of the "fat" FTO variant had a 30% increased risk of being obese compared to a person with no copies of that version.

Those carrying two copies of the variant had a 70% increased risk of being obese, and were on average 3kg (6.6lb) heavier than a similar person with no copies.

Now ladies, do you always wonder why you have so much trouble going on/keeping to a diet? [Evil Laughter] Just kidding, I don't believe in dieting because you only live once and you live in Singapore (food paradise). If you don't enjoy all the sinful kopitiam food now, you won't get to try it when you're dead.

The sinful nature of carbohydrates (Sugar)
A lot of people love candy, but that's not it! People love cheesecakes, cookies, crackers with sugar on them, roti prata sprinkled in sugar, pineapple tarts, etc. Many people are addicted to sugar without knowing it. The classic example would be drinking lots of coke and sprite when you could have drunk a glass of water instead. You can read up a little more about sugar addiction at this website.

The main role of carbohydrates is to supply us with energy for our daily needs. Unfortunately, evolution has made as crazy for carbohydrates because our ancestors were once hunter-gatherers who may have to go without food once in a while. That eat and starve cycle imprinted a need for high-carbo food into our psyche, so that we can store the extra carbo as fats, from which we can draw extra energy from when we are unable to obtain food.

Comfort Food
"Food is the most primitive form of comfort" - Shelia Graham
I'm sure you guys have watched Shrek 2, I liked the conversation between the King and the Fairy Godmother, especially this part:

"Harold, you force me to do something I REALLY don't want to do! My diet is RUINED, I hope you're HAPPY."

When people get upset, food is a great source of comfort. Especially food high in carbohydrates/sugar, like ice-cream!! Comfort food can also be food that are emotionally significant to us. So for an average Singaporean, it might mean feeling a need to eat good kway chap, a dish that your grandmother used to cook for you when you feel stressed out.

Dysfunctional Brain
Anything good or bad can be blamed on your brain. Be it bad temper, aggression, optimism or greed, it all comes from your brain. As no one is perfect, we all have a little dysfunction that makes us "unique"/"wierd" (depending on your perception). In the case of the 5 year old girl in India who is eating herself to death, literally, it is suspected that she has a dysfunctional pituitary gland. The pituitary gland releases hormones to restore homeostasis- i.e. physical and emotional needs. So in this case, her pituitary gland is not releasing the hormones that control eating. There are "hunger hormones" like ghrelin, orexin and PYY 3-36 and "satiety hormones" like leptin, obestatin, nesfatin-1. They control when and how much you eat and when to stop eating. The way this 5 year old girl eats is horrifying-

In just one week, she devours over 10 kilograms of rice, 24 eggs, six litres of milk and five kilos of potatoes.

Her hunger even leads her to sneak out and pester her neighbours for food in the village of Metiala in the Indian state of West Bengal.

"We give her four square meals a day and two small lunches, but this is never enough."

"She is our daughter and we have no choice but to feed her."

Aiyee... She's only 5 and she eats more food than an average family of 4 in a week!

While many people are fat because of factors beyond their control such as genes or hormones, there are even more people are fat because they are truly slobs. They love buffets, they binge, they don't exercise.

I don't have an issue with fast food because its just another meal to me as long as it not upsized. I think buffets are bad because of the consumer mentality "I must maximize my dollar"- so people eat more than they actually need. Many of the fat slobs that I know are binge eaters, when they want to eat something, they must eat it, even if they aren't hungry. Eating more than you need to is fine if you balance off the energy storage by expanding more energy through exercise. But many Singaporeans always give the excuse that they don't have time to exercise. I think it's a bad excuse because I know of people who drive to the shopping center nearby even though they could walk or take a bus (2-3stops away). I'll understand if they drive down because they are doing grocery shopping or furniture buying, but not if they are just going there to buy clothes or shoes.

Personally, I disapprove of slimming centers because it is the lazy method of losing weight fast. I prefer having a healthy diet, not eating beyond my daily needs and exercising. It gives people healthier body, mind and soul.

Why Are Singaporeans So Hard to Please?

I had some thoughts after reading an article in the Channel NewsAsia webpage on the installation of half-height barriers in the above-ground MRT stations, which will be completed across the nation by 2012.

There are a few issues that revolved around this policy, firstly, why these barriers are built, and second, how people reacted to this change, which is the focus of my post here.

The barriers were built as a response to cases of suicide in MRT stations, where people simply jumped off the platform onto the track at the oncoming train. So the barriers were erected in order to prevent the chances of people falling onto the tracks, by intention or by accident. It also prevents personal objects from falling onto the tracks.

The benefits? First accidents and deaths are avoided. Second, time is saved and convenience ensured, as train services are always disrupted after each accident, which causes a certain amount of distress and frustration (just imagine stuck in the station, or the train, for more than an hour because the trains couldn’t move).

BUT, some Singaporeans are just so hard to please.

“It’s unsightly.” Said one. “There is no ventilation.” Said another.

I was thinking, given Singapore’s insane weather, there’s no difference whether there’s a barrier or not in the first place. Besides, the existence of barriers is not the real cause of temperature conditions in MRT stations anyway.

And unsightly? Well, the Metro in Taipei had the same barriers too, they didn’t complain.

Besides (and to be really cynical), given the already unsightly appearance of above-ground MRT stations in Singapore, it really doesn’t make a difference.
What is more important, to think of the larger picture, is to consider what these barriers are for. They are, to use the RSAF’s advertisement motto, “for a higher purpose”. They are there to prevent accidents and disruptions to train services.

So, why are Singaporeans so hard to please?

It’s because, to me, we are just such a demanding lot of people. We want the best of everything, even if they might contradict one another. We want safer stations and less disruption, and yet want “visual pleasure” and ventilation, we want good salaries and career prospects, yet are cynical of our education system, which is responsible for the creation of career opportunities for individuals.

It’s really like the people in the US, who want to slim down by eating.

Of course, not everyone in Singapore is like that. The difference in opinion to the erection of barriers is also not necessarily the self-contradicting statements of specific individuals. But it does show one thing about human society in general: that conflicting interests create the difficulty of policy implementation and social improvement.


I was also reading about Mr Obama’s recent healthcare reforms, which led to intense debate in the US. It’s a pretty complex issue, so just for a quick background, here’s some of the issues.

First, Mr Obama wants to extend insurance coverage to more Americans. A large number of Americans are still uninsured, so you can imagine what will happen to them if they incur medical costs, which are ridiculous in the US.

Second, Mr Obama wants to reform the insurance system. Currently, insurance companies (in the US, of course, you can’t imagine insurance companies in Singapore doing that) can reject claims based on “pre-existing conditions”, meaning you’ve had some previous health condition you may or may not know about. So, if you are hospitalised, for say, heart disease, and you have high blood pressure, the insurance company can reject your insurance claim because of the pre-existing condition of high blood pressure (ridiculous, isn’t it).

For a cynical take on the shambles of the US healthcare system, you can watch Michael Moore’s Sicko. Of course, I’ll have to warn you, it’s very cynical, and biased in some ways, so take note.

In the US, the debate is really intense. Obama’s supporters feel he’s not doing enough, and his opponents and critics are saying he’s bringing more problems and creating “socialised medicine”, exemplified by the communist states and the British National Health Service (NHS), which are portrayed as inefficient and expensive (well, not quite. The NHS is expensive, for the state, but it’s quite efficient, thanks to Mrs Thatcher’s reforms).

What am I trying to put forth here? First, in Singapore, there’s this really famous saying, “In Singapore, one can die, but can never fall ill”, reflecting the high costs of healthcare in Singapore.

But if you know just a little more about the other healthcare systems of other countries, you’ll realise we’re not all that bad. At least we have some form of funding for healthcare (not that the US doesn’t have things like medisave, medishield and medifund, they do. But they are much less substantial in funds), and at least insurance companies don’t cheat us like they do in the US.

What bridges both the US and Singapore is the contradicting interests that are involved. To put it bluntly, both want a healthcare system that is good, but both also don’t want to pay for it.

In the presence of conflicting interests, we need to think critically, rather than naively and childishly say, “I want it my way.”

Should the parents of Ah Lians/ Ah Bengs be blamed for their deviant behavior?

Ah Lians (ALs) and Ah Bengs (ABs) are such fascinating creatures. I really enjoy disturbing them by being the biggest kaypoh (busy body) to swing by their terrible blogs. I don’t kaypoh because I care for them, but because I’m gathering info! I usually target ALs because they are more emotionally unstable. Based on 6 months’ worth of data collection, when I talk about ALs, I’m talking about teenagers from 13-18 years old who share the following characteristics in varied combinations:

Self Inflated Ego- They like to think they are pretty, but most of them are plain Janes. They normally share the same re-bonded China-doll hair cut, thick make up and an awful taste in cheap clothing. I don’t have issues with rebonded hair and cheap clothes, but ALs have a remarkable talent in making nice hair and clothes look bad. As for thick make up, I think it should be reserved for Wayangs, note for the streets. They like to say stuff like “DM, you jealous of me right? Cos I’m so pretty…” Urgh, I rather die a virgin. What’s more, if you don’t think they are pretty or smart, they mutate into banshees that scream an endless barrage of vulgarities.

Sensitive- they can criticize you, you can't criticize them. They take it VERY personally. They'll threaten to burn down your house, whack you up and start challenge you for your real name, your home address, handphone number and your gender. And I suspect most ALs are homophobic, I guess they just want to get laid by every male that walks across their path in order to feel like they are "wanted" and "desirable". They take rejection personally too, they do threaten suicide (to me, its good riddance to bad rubbish).

Diarrhea of the Mouth, Constipation of the Brains (intellectual poverty)- I realize all ALs can’t debate. All they can do is swear and accuse people of being kaypoh. I find it incredibly amusing that when I leave comments, I get accusation of “stepping English” (since when was speaking standard English a sin?) or for being a kaypoh (I love being a kaypoh, anyone who has curiosity in them will be a kaypoh!). So far, a few ALs have “cursed” me to be childless in future, even AFTER I told them I refuse to have kids due to the 50% chance of them turning bad. The other word they like to use is slut/bastard. Well, pot calling the kettle black in most cases. Heh.

The word “dog”- I don’t know why they have to use the word “dog” on everyone, be it friend or foe. They don’t call people baboons, morons, jackasses, etc. From the Freudian perspective of symbolism, I would hypothesize that it’s a reflection of their behavior:

• They mate like dogs (multiple partners)
• Run in packs (their endless lines of gans and jies)
• Bark a lot (the endless barrage of vulgarities and empty threats)
• Howl to the moon (emotional outbursts at night about being lonely and unwanted by their family)
• Bitch bitch bitch (they are experts at that)
• Run off with their tails between their legs once they meet their betters
  

The inability to swear properly- They are masters of quantity, not quality. They feel very empowered using “f” words and other hokkien words. Unfortunately, their hokkien stinks to high heaven, the sentences often don’t make sense. For example- knn limbei you! (translated as: screw your mother, your father you). That doesn’t make sense doesn’t it? And the part that really made me flinch was the use of CCB by ALs, may their vaginas rot off from overuse.

Self destructive behavior- I find it very cute that they always glorify these three things: smoking, drinking and sex. I think these are activities that no under-aged kid in their right mind would do. What’s more, I’ve been trying to go to a few AL’s blogs to offer them “good advice”. Typical of their rebellious nature, most of the replies I’ve gotten are “who are you to tell me what to do? Stupid Kaypoh”, the nicer ones were “I don’t know who you are, thanks for the advice, but I’ll live my own life”. I have a question “Why is a stranger offering you good advice inferior to that of the gans and jies that teach you how to die of cancer or STD faster?”

If you aren't with me, you are against me- As long as you don't agree with "the" AL way, you are a nerd, even if you can't study. Either that or you're a retard, idiot, bodoh, huan loh, hongster, or whatever, even though you know you are smarter than them and a lot less flirtatious.

Mysterious creatures- no one understand them. Really, you see them declare this all over their blogs. Their teachers, parents, boyfriends and siblings don’t understand their insurmountable pain and anguish over lord know what. Nobody can understand why they do stupid stuff like getting knocked up and going for rounds of abortion. No one understand why they have to waste all their money on cigarettes and alcohol when they highest pay they can get is approximately $6/hr. No one understands why they take so many MCs and leave even though they are earning so little. No one knows why they prefer bad friends over good ones. No one knows why they want to go to NT or NA when they can perfectly well get into express. No one knows why some of them give up poly to join their bfs in ITE. No one knows why they still stay with a boyfriend who rather sleep than go out with them. Are they that stupid? Maybe.

After many scuffles with them, I realize they switch to the “sob” story after some time. They start to cite stories about having a single parent, stepparent from hell, lousy parents, etc. as a reason for their deviant behavior. I think that is a terrible excuse. I’ve met people who come from single parent families with that single parent being a shitty example of parenthood (gambling, loansharks, alcoholism, etc) but they still turned out find. Why? It’s because they have the ambition and determination to pull themselves out of the vicious cycle. So my point is ALs are weak in mind, body and soul. Some ALs reform and improve over time. But hey, a leopard never changes its spots- once an AL, forever an AL. I’ve known a few successful ALs, sadly, financial success couldn’t scrub off their liannie “aura”. Staff and associates would always whisper behind them what an AL she is. So what is a liannie “aura”? This is what I’ve gathered:

• Loud voice- they treat everyone like slaves that require regular rounds of verbal abuse.
• Overly suggestive dressing- most of these ladies are in their late 30s or 40s, most have sam-cham-bak (3 rolls of fat at the stomach region). They like to wear TIGHT clothes that make them look like this:
• Tries too hard to look modern- I’m sorry, re-bonded hair, spaghetti straps, mini-skirts and boots should never be a uniform of lady in her 40s. The effect is revolting.
• Tries too hard to show off her wealth- they like everything that screams money, such as diamonds and branded clothes. I know a liannie in her 40s. She loves Esprit and Ralph Lauren, but somehow, she couldn’t carry off those clothes. Everyone thought they were fakes. They like to decorate their homes with expensive but tasteless furniture. Pink and purple walls do not go well with rosewood furniture nor Da Vinci Sofas.
• The wrong clothes for the wrong occasion- I know a liannie who has to paint her nails beautifully before she goes out, even if it’s to the wet market. And she must wear her LV heels instead of slippers to the wet market. I don’t know what she’s trying to prove.
  

Such deviant behaviors has to start from somewhere. I believe that their parents should be blamed. Granted that most ALs are the worst examples of daughters any parent would want, but I still think parents need to play a more active role in nipping the flower in the bud. Children start to distance themselves from their family once they hit adolescence because it is a stage where, a developmental psychologist, Eric Erikson proposed as a period of “Identity Formation or Identity Confusion. They start to venture out into social groups to form a self identity outside their family.

At this stage, they are the most vulnerable to bad influences because their frontal cortexes are still under developed. Meaning, they are unable to think long term- they rather smoke because it’s cool rather than think of its long term impact on their health and looks. People’s frontal cortex is normally fully matured and stabilized when they hit 21 years old. Until then, I would say that it is the parents who should play a more active role in guiding their children until they are mature enough.

When I mean guiding a child, I don’t mean coddling the child and forcing him/her to do things the parents’ way because they said so. A compromise has to be reached through reasoning- children are not right all the time and neither are their parents. Teenagers need their independence, so parents shouldn’t deprive them of it. Instead, they should teach their teenagers how to obtain independence through responsibility. It can be as simple as making sure curfew times are not breached and how asking for extra allowances might be met if there is a valid reason so that they will learn how to spend within their means.

In the case of ALs, many are from broken families and by the time their parent(s) realize that their kid has mutated in a bitch from hell, it’s normally too late. The years of neglect have finally reflected on their parental incompetence. Their children hate them and hate everything that is associated with the words “good” and “decent”. Their children rather take advice from other hooligans than listen to their parent(s) pleas to be good, study hard and get a good job. When that happens, I always favor chopping those kids off and letting them learn how difficult life is if mum/dad isn’t paying for your living expenses. Let them learn how painful it is to earn a pathetic sum of money only to spend it on food and rent.

So are parents to blame when their kids go wild? Yes. There is always a possibility that a kid’s deviant behavior is learnt or inherited from his/her parent. I know of families with 3 generations of jail birds and school drop outs. So is it the genes, or maybe they learnt how to be bad from dad/mom? Who knows?

Although parents have a big part to play, I won’t deny that some teenagers are really hellish, particularly at the ages of 14-15. They are almost impossible to handle. But parents who are firm and strict enough on their children whilst they were growing up would have laid a firm foundation of discipline and respect. Their children may be deviant, but not to the extent of getting knocked up or hooked onto smoking. Negligent parents wouldn’t stand a chance unless their children are mature for their age. So we’re back to square one- parents should be blamed if their children disintegrate into a swarm of angry bees that sting anything that they perceive to be hostile.

I’m aware that some kids turn deviant because of parental abuse, or should I say “parental abuse”. Some call strict parenting abuse. If you think your parents caning you for swearing, coming back home late, smoking, failing your exams or getting into a fight is wrong, that sod you. You are a bloody self centered ingrate who just can’t recognize that your parents whack you because they want you to improve, not because they hate you. In this case, it’s clearly the kid’s fault and partially their parents’ fault for not realizing that caning is no longer a solution to the problem.

I don’t think there such a thing as “I give up hope, I tried everything and I still can’t correct him/her”. It’s a matter of catching them when they are young and instilling values into them. When they are young, they are like a “tabula rasa” (blank sheet of paper). They are still pure and clean, so as a parent, you write down the values you want them to uphold before that piece of paper becomes yellowed, brittle and crowded with negative values accumulated with age, bitterness and misunderstanding.

44 Facts about Singapore!

Well well, NDP is here! Happy 44th birthday to Singapore. Ironically, I only realized Singapore was 44 earlier on thanks to Evone. So much so for being a history monster...

1. Mosquitoes
We are never short of these infernal beasts. But it’s ok, treat each feeding session as a karma reaping session.

2. NeWater
It’s always nice to know the water you drink might contain a little of your piss as well as everyone else’s.

3. Raffles is our founder
That’s wrong, it’s Sang Nila Utama. I guess it’s because we can’t find a nice picture of Utama (a myth) to carve a likeness of him and place in front of our Victoria Theatre.

4. Our national anthem is in Malay
Well, not many people know what the lyrics mean, but heck, we all know how to sing it.

5. We have the highest execution rate per capita in the world! It’s ok when it is traded for the lowest crime rate in the world!

6. Our universities do not have an on-campus bar and they do not have enough hostel rooms for everyone. It’s ok, the cleaners are happy less people to scrap off the campus floor when they get drunk and barf everywhere.

7. Singaporeans cannot aim- the rubbish bins have rubbish everywhere but in them and the toilet bowl is cleanest inside the basin. No worries, we have an army of cleaners to maintain our “clean and green image”.

8. We train our smokers to be nice and considerate! We just ostracize them to the corner table at the koptidiam to be exposed to the sun and rain.

9. Alcohol and cigarettes are ridiculously expensive! No matter, under aged kids still smoke and drink anyway. They are affluent and devious enough. Isn’t that a sign of our thriving economy and first class education system?

10. We pay a lot of GST, service charge, road tax, parking fine, library fine, littering fine, spitting fine, etc. to the government so that they can pay the thousands of useless employees who mess up the bureaucracy more everyday and our extremely expensive ministers. Ah well, at least we can confidently say have one of the lowest income taxes in the world, so can’t complain.

11. Durians- some people love them, some people hate them. For the consideration for all, they are banned from entering all public transports. No worries, you can still eat them at the stalls! We have high-class sounding Durian sellers who call their shop "Durian Cafe".

12. Middle Age Crisis is very common among Singaporeans. They are typically serial nose pickers, quarrelsome, aggressive, naggy and extremely Kiasu. They spend half of their time being inconsiderate and the other half nagging at inconsiderate people around them. Aren't they such precious treasures?

13. Our ministers are among most highly paid politicians in the world! PM Lee Hsien Long makes 6x more than Obama (USD 400,000). It's nice to know that we are one of the least corrupted countries in the world too. We have a Corruption Perception Index of 9.2 and we rank 4th in the world, only because the top 3 countries- Demark, New Zealand and Sweden share the same 9.3 index! Taken from:http://theonlinecitizen.com/2009/04/pm-lee-tops-list-of-10-best-paid-world-politicians/ & http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corruption_Perceptions_Index

14. We still practice Judicial Caning! We are one of the few secular states that administer caning to social deviants. The cane is about 1.2m long and about half an inch thick. Many countries criticize us for violating the UN Convention Against Torture. Guess what? We didn't sign it and we have the lowest crime rates in the world!

15. Sarong party girls- many Singaporeans hate them because these girls only have eyes for caucasians. Don't worry though, our local men also know how to import "foreign talents", mainly from China and Vietnam to restore homeostasis.

16. We have a different meaning of racial harmony through tolerance. Tolerance stems from "don't talk about it at all and don't even be a kaypoh about other cultures and religions". Fair price to pay for the peace we get eh?

17. We are suspicious people. Why shouldn't we? Even charities are conspiring against us. First it was NKF, now it is Ren Ci. Good for Reverend Ming Yi who has 9 credit cards, bought and sold 6 private properties at a profit, bought and sold 3 BMWs, a pet horse and an expensive pet called Yeung who has a penchant for branded stuff and 3 supplementry cards from boss. I guess monks have to violate the "abstain from material wealth" code in order to be generously contribute to the economy. =) His self sacrifice will be appreciated by all the needy poor and doners who surely must realize he was doing it for the benefit of all in the long term.

18. We are a paternalistic society where dad/governement will make sure you behave very well. Even to the point of nailing a notice on your bedpost "NO ORAL OR ANAL SEX FOR HOMOSEXUAL PARTNERS". It is an attempt to maintain our image as a conservative society. There is always a lovely cane hanging within sight and the threat of being grounded or having your pocket money revoked hanging above you. So we should all BEHAVE; no wonder that we have the lowest crime rate in the world eh?

19. We are the only country in the world (to my knowledge) that actually banned the import and sale of chewing gum. Unfortunately, they relaxed that rule a little and allow pharmacists to sell certain gums that have health benefits. If they relax it a little more, we'll have a multitude of idiots stuffing gum into mailbox keyholes, lift buttons and pasting them under tables and chairs. Disgusting inbreeds.

20. We are a "fine" country. People like to criticize us for being a nanny state where spitting, toilet flushing and jaywalking are considered punishable offenses. All I can say is shut up. =D We are a lot more cleaner and safer than our critics.

21. Singapore don't give a hoot about international pressure- the LAW prevails. That's one thing I like about Singapore, we don't bow down to international pressure to remove our capital punishments like hanging and caning and fairly punish foreigners who violate our laws! E.g. the idiot Michael Fay who was so cocky of his immunity as a citizen of mighty America- he got caned anyway when found guilty of theft and vandalism. When he got burnt while abusing butane later in life, he had the cheek to blame the Singapore judicial system for emotional trauma. He was a kid with serious issues, we should have given him the full 12 strokes instead of 4, maybe he would have crawled out of prison a better person.

22. Based on estimates in the 2008 World Drug Report, published by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC), Singapore has one of the lowest prevalence of drug abuse. So we should execute all the drug traffickers regardless of nationality once they are caught in order to keep this up. In the sensationalized trial of Van Tuong Nguyen, Australia tried to pressurize Singapore into blocking the death penalty. We executed that criminal anyway. It's good that we treat criminals and criminals regardless of their background, reasons or nationality. They were apprehended in their attempts to cause harm and they will be punished for it.

23. We are a nation of common sense and reason. Unlike USA or Australia, we certainly didn't hold virgils or organize protests to burn the opposing countries' flags nor did we boycott their products in order to show our disfavor whenever our citizens are punished overseas for their wrong doing. When you're wrong, you are wrong, you should be punished.

24. Singaporeans make the worst hostages because the government won't contribute a single cent of ransom to save their citizens. I honestly like this because you won't encourage the terrorists or kidnappers. The means justify the end. That's why terrorists networks worldwide hate us and love American hostages.

25. We are a certificate country, no certs means no future. We can't have that now can we? So our students are the most obscenely hardworking bunch of monsters, bar the social deviants who drop out and make parasites out of themselves. Your future boss looks at your certificates before he looks at you.

26. We are one of the most realistic group of people in this world. We openly admit that being a construction worker is a terrible job, unlike our American counterparts who zealously call it a professional occupation. To us, it is a low skill labor that pays poorly, they just don't see that don't they? Every job is professional, it is how professional it is that matters.

27. We are very ambitious people, we want the 6Cs- cash, credit cards, condominiums, cars and certificates. That's gooooood, it motivates us to work hard for what we want. It deters people from sitting at home and waiting for their monthly social security handouts.

28. We have the best propaganda machine in Asia- because almost everyone doesn't realize it exists! Ok, we know it exists, but most can't pinpoint where or what it is. A good example would be Social Studies! It has almost nothing to do with sociology but it has everything good about Singapore.

29. The Singapore government even regulates how you rear your pets. For those staying in HDBs, only toy dogs are allowed and apparently no private fish bonds outside your apartment either (apparently, you upset the weight per sq inch ratio). You are not allow to breed dogs for sale at home either! You need a license and a farm to do that.

30. We don't have strikes and protests every alternate day unlike Thailand, Indonesia, the Philippines, France, etc. This is because you need a PERMIT. Since no one can be bothered to think of a justifiable reason of holding a protest in order to apply for a permit, nor wait for the permit to be approved, no one has organized a successful protest so far. Thank goodness for that! We have a very stable economy because man hours are not wasted on pointless marchess requesting for more pay and holidays. In Singapore, you'll just get sacked. There are other people out there waiting for an opening...

31. We are a city of misers and workaholics. We hate to pay fines and neither do we relish holidays behind bars. So no one breaks the law just to attend a strike or protest because everything they hold dear is in jeopardy.

32. Our politicians have cat fights now and then. Classic example: MM Lee & SM Goh vs Mr Chee. MM Lee and SM Goh won not because the law was on their side, but because they makes more sense than Chee.

33. We are the only country with the post minister mentor. People insist that MM Lee refused to relinquish his political power. I think they are wrong- we can't drop him after all he has done! He has a lot of experience and he was the hand that shaped Singapore. His guidance has been proven to be the most sound leadership in SEA.

34. I fully agree with Kumar when he said this "(Every NDP)everytime the fireworks go, I cry. That's not because I'm patriotic, that's my income tax".

35. The Merlion will most likely sink head first if it tries to swim. If you look closely, it only has a claudal fin, it doesn't have a anal fin, dorsal fin, pectoral fin nor a pelvic fin. So it shouldn't be able to balance nor steer.

36. Singapore is an ungracious country. Smile at a stranger and they'll start to think there's something wrong with your head. No one bothers to ask you polite stuff like "how are you" or "how was your day". We don't have that culture.

37. Singaporeans have a penchant for queueing up! As long as there is a looooong queue, they'll queue up even if they don't know what its for. They are even to queue up overnight and over the weekend for free stuff or special discounts.

38. Singaporeans are unfriendly. They bitch a lot and they don't smile a greeting when they walk by you and the men don't open the door for the ladies at all.

39. Singaporeans always complain that the influx of foreign talent has been depriving them of jobs. Well, serve the Singaporeans right, they didn't want those jobs when times were good. Now that times are bad, they whine about it louder.

40. We're probably the only country that drills its people for all kinds of emergencies- war, fire, air raid, etc. Students and workers alike are timed and evaluated for their response level and efficiency.

41. Singaporeans are so crazy about food that they are willing to travel from one end of the island to the other just to eat their favorite dish. Some even go out for suppers way after midnight to satisfy their insatiable cravings.

42. Singaporeans depend on the government for everything. When they can't handle their children, they throw the problem to the government. When they can't get along with their neighbours, they scream for the government. When they have a major disagreement in an association like AWARE, they scream for the government.

43. We have a wierd way of drawing up our "maps". You might be staying in Paya Lebar, but you're under the Marine Parade Constituancy. Wierd...

44. Singapore has one of the worst script writers to me when it comes to serial dramas and "comedies". They are so embroiled with moralistic overtones that you can pretty much guess what will happen next.

On Patriotism

Since we’ll be celebrating the 44th year of Singapore’s independence in a day’s time, I thought it’ll be nice to talk about something uplifting.

People might wonder, is there patriotism in Singaporeans?

It’s arguable, but there are reasons for Singaporeans to be patriotic, however small these reasons might be.

De Maitre in the recent post, NDP 09, brought up interesting facts about Singapore.

These are the small things which bring about both bewilderment and criticism from the rest of the world, but they are also the facts that made us who we are today.

For me, I’ll like to talk about the “higher” things.

To quote from that old song: “There was a time when people said that Singapore wouldn’t make it, but we did”.

There was indeed such a time. It was a time only our parents and grandparents would remember.

It was through hard work, and good governance, that brought us to where we are today. We were lucky, because while many other post-colonial countries are still struggling in the modern world, Singapore went in a different direction, the effects of which were unexpected even to the leaders themselves.

But so much for an introduction, what is patriotism?

The definition is different for different countries. For the US, it’s the fact that they are a superpower. (Though if you ask me, that title is increasingly becoming hollow), for the Chinese and Indians, it’s the thousands of years of history and culture. For the Europeans, it’s the intellectual, artistic and cultural values that are important to them, plus the quality of their own products.

Singapore has, arguably, little of these. We’re far from a superpower, even though we have one of the most prosperous economies and the most advanced military in the region, we are, well, only 44 years old, 50 if you add in the years of self-government, and we haven’t given birth to any intellectual or artistic “greats” (at least not yet).

But people still love Singapore, at least, again, arguably.
This is because we have the many things other countries want, but just can’t seem to have.

Good governance, from which springs forth many more things, like low corruption, foresight, etc

Economic growth

Rule of law.

What’s holding the other countries back? For many, it’s bad governance. For others, it’s the sacrifice of economic prosperity and social order for such things as “people power”.

Ultimately, there are costs to be incurred for any choices a country may make in the charting of its political direction.

For that, we should also remember, we are so lucky to have had travelled in that right direction, despite the costs that we may have had to pay for that.

Why can't people just be themselves?? ( Anorexia Nervosa)

In my previous post "Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder- or isn't it?" I did talk about annorexic women. Annorexia is becoming a really problematic issue in today's society where looks are highly prized over brains. I was surfing youtube and I stumbled across this documentry. Please take time off to watch it. It covers the dangers of online anorexia communities.

I'm sure you guys all know what is anorexia nervosa by now. Personally, I think anorexia is terrible. It makes people look as appealing as a set of chopsticks you can dig out of the nearest bin. It robs them of their mental faculties and common sense. They look half dead and terrible. I don't know how they can find such joy in being such bony wrecks. Even the Jewish P.O.W.s found in concentration camps after WW2 look better than them.



As a food lover, I hate skinny people. They put me off my food because they don't eat together with me. It's so damn unfriendly and plain rude. And I noticed that constant dieting makes them so insecure that they drive their friends away. Because they ask everyone if they look skinny and sexy, and everyone has to lie through their teeth. As anorexia affects women more than men, all I can say is the ideal woman has curves. CURVES you know, like Monica Belluci?



Compared to this:


In Singapore, Anorexia is a growing problem, thanks to this stupid fashion trend that only makes your feet look big- the SKINNY jeans. And thanks to idiots like Fuazi Rassull who denies inspiring his readers to be anorexic. [READ HERE] That's bullshit, people cross the line from being skinny to anorexic when they cannot control the urge to be thinner and they set more and more unrealistic goals when it comes to weight loss. Besides, his moto is "Get Thin or Die Trying" that's a typical anorexic's goal.

But Fauzi, who is also the creator of "The Thinspo Club" on Facebook's rival social networking site Friendster, said all he was trying to do was gather like-minded individuals to share slimming tips.

"I just want Singaporeans to lead a healthy lifestyle as well," he said.

By the way, I hardly call the diet of bread and instant noodles healthy... Anyway,it might be a good thing if he starves himself to death. Singapore is a country that learns best by example. If he dies horribly, his followers will stop following him and society as a whole will learn how anorexics can be so caught up in their own "fantasy" that they die uglier than the day they were born.

To me, the ideal figure should be fit. A little fat here and there is fine. The last thing we need in this world are a bunch of wimps who can only smile and taking pretty pcitures but unable to do any physical labor. In the case of Rassull, I wonder if he's even capable of completing a road march with a full pack or practice 2hours of rifle drill. In fact, I predict that his life might be worse than hell if he enters the army because they will force him to eat and make an example out of him due to his penchant for being flashy.

There are more medical and psychological reasons as to why people become anorexic. One of which is control- eating is something that you are fully in control of. But I won't go into details. I want to focus more on the devastating effects of anorexia on the patient and his/her family and friends. Many people have starved themselves to death due to anorexia. Why can't people just be happy with themselves?

Most anorexics are lonely and they spend a lot of time on self pity and criticism. As a general rule, they are never happy and content. I think it's fine to be a chubby as long as you have a lovely personality. Skinny but sensitive and emotional people are definitely not my cup of tea. =D

In this documentry, the presenter actually experiments with a diet plan provided by one of the "pro-ana" websites. She has to survive on a total meal of 100 calories a day. That means half an apple for breakfast, half an apple for dinner and one cucumber. She broke the diet by the end of the day and was suprised by the sense of guilt that swamped her. When she tried to diet again, it was clear that she was starting to be incoherent and distacted.

In the documentry, it was revealed that many of the anorexis are very young. Approximately 10 years old. They gain inspiration from famous celebrities such as Victoria Beckham, Kate Moss, Kiera Knightley, etc.










This documentry brings out this million dollar question: Should we shut down such websites?

I would also like to highlight that if you're single and you can't find a partner. It might not be because of your looks, but your character. As demonstrated in my previous post "Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder- or isn't it?" there's always someone out there who will love you for what you are. =D Character improvement beats plastic surgery, liposunction or crash dieting because you will always have the knowledge that people hang out with who you really are than what they think you are.

Boys, give me your opinion on what do you look for in a future partner? Please think hard about it and give me your honest opinion.

Girls, give me your opinion on what do you look for in a future partner? Please think hard about it and give me your honest opinion.

Singapore: The nation of closet slobs

Singapore is an economically developed country with one of the most modern infrastructure in Southeast Asia. We have a reputation for being a clean and green country with a very polite and industrious working force. We have a strong economy, sound political structure and social harmony. Our students are intelligent and capable potentials being groomed to lead Singapore into greater heights.

Well, that’s what they all tell you. In truth, we are a nation of slobs- the main philosophy in life here is “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. Nothing resembling progress occurs until someone submits a serious complaint that sends everyone scrambling to fix it before they lose their jobs… We hire others to do the dirty work whilst we maintain the illusion of soaring success and acute intelligence.

Look at the young adults today, for all their academic and corporate achievements, how many are actually capable of cooking a full meal? I.e. rice, fish, meat, veg and soup? Most of the people I’ve spoken to are woefully unable to progress beyond frying an egg and cooking instant noodles. When I spoke to my old art teacher who went for a year long course in Australia, she told me the horrors she noticed in the hostel there. Singaporean students were making a lot of calls back home to mummy to ask stuff like:

“How long does it take to boil an egg?”
“How to use the laundry machine?”
“How to get rid of the stain on my white shirt?”
“What type of soap powder to buy?”
“How to cook rice?”

The first and last ones were a real joke. To me, they are really basic. Ok, maybe rice cooking needs some skill and practice. As a general rule, the water level should reach your mid knuckle when you press down the rice. It varies with different brand and type of rice. As for egg boiling, it’s about 10 minutes for hard boil and about 5 minutes for soft boiled eggs. This is a website for all those who can’t even manage an egg- http://www.mrbreakfast.com/ask.asp

Singaporeans are too dependent on their mothers and maids. I’ve witness many a scenario where children are brought up in a completely safe environment till the point that they are nothing but spineless upstarts with a brain that they don’t know how to use properly. Scoring well academically does not equate to intelligence in my opinion. Having a PHD means you are clever but not necessarily wise nor insightful.

For example, when children fall down and scrap their knee, the maid gets blamed and scolded. As a result, the kid is always kept closeted to ensure his safety. To me, there’s nothing wrong with children getting a little bumped and scrapped now and then as it teaches them the following principles:

• Pull yourself up when you fall; mummy isn’t going to be there forever (she has a shelf life and expiry date, you know)
• Pain reminds you that you are alive and it will be a constant factor in your life. Learn how to cope with it and use it as a motivating factor to push you into achieving greater feats in life. Mummy isn’t going to coddle you and give you a big kiss each time you undergo emotional turmoil or an injury later on in life.
• There is danger everywhere, you (and only you) can protect yourself by learning how negotiate your way around them with care. Mummy can’t be telling you to mind the wet floor everyday of your life.

These are precious lessons in life that we need to learn through experience. If parents deprive their children of experience, all the children have are certificates proving their academic capabilities and nothing more.

Singaporean children are so spoilt that they have almost everything they want and need. Primary school kids have a handphone, mp3, computer, good clothes, a lot of assessment books, tuition, etc. Is it the fault of the parents? Yes. It is possible that they work hard to give their kids the luxury they never had in their youth. It is possible that there is a competition among them to see who can provide the best for their children. What they do not know is that they are spoiling their children beyond belief. I’ve seen children screaming at their maid to get them a glass of water and it’s suddenly the maid’s job to ask hospitable questions to guests such as “Would you like a drink?” Tsk, that’s what the host should be asking the guest and instructing the maid to serve up.

Children today do not know the meaning of having to go hungry because their parents go hungry for them. They don’t know how to make their own beds because the maid or their mother does it for them. They can’t cook because parents are afraid that they will burn themselves as well as the entire house. Children are taught to packet food or eat cup noodles rather than cook a proper healthy meal for themselves. Children contribute to household cleaning with a broom/mop or “Magic Clean” dusters. That’s easy. But many of them do not know how to sweep or mop the floor properly! By my standards, they are merely rearranging the dust. When I mean clean, the floor is the “safe to eat your food off the floor” clean. =) I’m a Detol monster who insists on moping the floor by hand.

Look at home economics taught in schools today. In my mother’s generation, they were taught which parts of the cow/pig/goat were to be used for what type of cooking. They were taught how to do mending in addition to doing pretty stitches. They were taught how to use the sewing machine. Mum said she was thought how to cut and make her own dress. They were taught how to bake muffins and cookies! And the used the proper fire stoves and ovens.

By my generation, home economics was a joke. It was more like a financial management class with cooking demonstrations thrown in. All I learnt was:

• How to differentiate between a want and a need when it comes to spending
• Kitchen and household safety
• How to have a healthy balanced diet (not that I follow it)
• What I would call a sewing demonstration rather than a actual sewing class. We made a hand puppet and a letter holder. The stitches I learnt were oversewing stitch, running stitch and cross stitch (for sewing the button eyes onto my puppet. And I also learnt how to use fabric glue. That’s it. The pieces were all precut for me and I didn’t go anywhere near a sewing machine. I guess they didn’t want students to cut or prick their lovely little PERFECT fingers.
• I learnt how to cook macaroni chicken soup, shepherd’s pie and spaghetti. The stoves were all induction cookers to ensure that we won’t burn down the entire building or ourselves. The macaroni was the most tasteless and healthy soup I ever had in my life. The chicken meat was so fat free that I could kill you if I threw it at your head after boiling it. It was dry and HARD. Never mind that, there’s no salt at all. The shepherd’s pie was a greater joke. There was a pre-boiled potato waiting for me. All I had to do was to take a fork and mesh it. The teacher fried the meat for all of us. Than she filled up the aluminum foil cups for us with the meat, told us to spread the potatoes on top of it and baked it for us. The Spaghetti was also an interesting experience- boil the spaghetti and open a bottle of tomato paste (not the Preggo Spaghetti sauce type, it’s really tomato paste). Again, it was a tasteless disaster.
• I also learnt the cooking appliances were unpredictable monsters since only half of the stoves/ovens in the HE room can be used at one time. Out of which, you have to chose to use either the stove or the oven. Otherwise, the whole building will black out.
  

All in all, I call the revised HE curriculum a joke. It overdid the tradeoff between safety, taste and health. Ask any mother or grandmother, who can cook well, how many times have they been burnt by spraying oil or being too careless near a hot wok/stove? I have quite about twenty burns accumulated from the past 10 years. My interest in sewing died as I grew older, but I still do it for fun when I feel like it. =)

Another point that I’ll bring up is- how many Singaporeans can actually survive on their own in a jungle, without modern technology? I’m going to throw out the NS guys and OBS monsters for the sake of this argument. If a war comes to Singapore, how many Singaporeans know how to identify edible plants and animals from our forests? How many Singaporeans can start a fire without the following tools- matches, lighter, solid fuel and a fire starter?

Here we are, all proud of our meager accomplishments in life when most Singaporeans don’t even know how to unclog their own sink or toilet bowl… Did you know that one part of baking soda and 4 parts of vinegar can unclog a choked sink? How many of you know how to change your own lock? Given our ever increasing levels of affluence, we rather call the handyman to do this short of menial labor and call them stupid and unaccomplished behind their backs. Well, don’t call people idiots-with-no-future unless there’s nothing they can do that you can’t do.

Most of the Singaporeans that I know are lacking general knowledge. They read the newspaper religiously for exams and to ensure that they won’t look like a complete idiot when questioned about the latest global scandal. They reject the notion of reading beyond the school curriculum because they have this mentality that the important stuff will be covered in school, anything beyond that it useless. Well, they’re wrong. There’s never such thing as useless knowledge. Almost every Singaporean, who doesn’t specialize in history, is blissfully unaware that Singapore was MORE than a little fishing village when Raffles swung by. We have archaeological evidence that we were once a thriving trading center during the Srivijaya Empire. Secondly, I would like to highlight that Sir Stamford Raffles isn’t our founder. The name “Singapore” was given to us by Sang Nila Utama, so he is our founder, not the angmoh that waltzed by looking for a nice place to set up a new trading post. See how terribly history can be misconstrued? And how stupid students gobble it up wholesale for the sake of exams? We can’t even be bothered to question what we have been taught, because it is unacceptable and it’ll most likely lead to an F grade.

Schools today are so anal about MCs, which is something I frown upon greatly. I understand that this system was set up to prevent students from forging letters on their parents’ behalf to excuse them from school, so they can do more meaningful stuff like playing. But if I’m having a fever due to a cold, why do I have to see a Doctor so that I can get an MC when I can just bloody well spend a day or two at home gulping down lots of water, Panadol Cold and sleeping the illness off? I have better things to throw my money on. I think more discretion should be practiced such as calling up the kid’s parents to verify the authenticity of the letter. See, even teachers are lazy!

Look at parents today! As long as they can afford to hire the maid, the maid has to settle the household chores, taking care of the employers’ mad temper, their rabid children, etc. In Singapore, maids are the surrogate mothers to their employer’s children. It’s their “duty” to make sure the child eats well, sleeps well, shower well, study well and play well. It makes you wonder- what the hell are our Singapore mothers doing? I think the excuse that she has to work for her children’s comfort is crap. All children need are clean comfortable clothes, a full stomach, comfortable bed and a mother’s love/companionship. The last factor is the most important; they don’t need the branded clothes, expensive fish/meat, King-Koil mattress, etc. They can live without it. I strongly suspect that such expensive treatment is due a mother’s guilt that she isn’t spending enough time with her children. That’s why when children turn deviant; I blame their parents first more than anyone else, for not nipping the problem in the bud.

Misplaced Pity and Misunderstanding

When I travel overseas, I always get plagued by beggars. It brings up the question: to give or not to give? On the practical note, it is not advisable to give them any money because you will be merely feeding the begging industry, which is already overstaffed with all the lazy never do wells. Not to mention, once you patronize one beggar, you might see a long queue forming up behind him. On the ehical level, it is hard not to feel pity for the poor people trying to get some money to feed their families.

In the past, I donated money only to beggars who lost either both arms or all limb because I figured those with hands and legs can jolly well make themselves more useful than that. This continued until the day that I found out that some of them had their limbs forcefully amputated by gangs in order to use them as icons to milk sympathetic money out of soft hearted people. So I'm a hard hearted person now. I gave up the moralistic battle because I'm not sure if I'm helping to feed the beggar or the godforsaken gangster.

Take a look at the following video about the street kids and the dead poor people in Manila. Do you feel pity for them? People stuck in the vicious cycle of poverty, unable to afford school or even a proper meal, etc?


Well, I don't pity them because of a few reasons. In Jarkata, I learnt that women walking around with a troop of children to beg for money along the streets are not necessarily poor and neither are the kids their beget. They have an industry of borrowed children. These women "rent" their neighbours kids in order to create an image of a poor woman bogged down with the task of feeding her children.

The business of begging has reached the point where pretty much everything is staged. Walk along the streets of Jarkata or Manila and you'll see children lying down by the roadside as if they are halfdead from the lack of food. It would be natural to assume that they would be living somewhere nearby as they won't have the energy to walk off right? When nightfalls, the street is mysteriously empty, and there are no little kiddies lying postrate on the road pavements. And I've once seen the kids get up and run at the sight of an aggressive policeman too! So I have my doubts.

In ELDCs [i], the poor aren't as poor as they look due to the low standards of living. When I drove into the rural parts of Indonesia and the Philippines, I learnt that you can survive on very little money there. For example, a trishaw rider in the kampung probably earns less than 10 SGD a month. He peddles probably an average of one or two kampung women and her shopping from the market to her home each day. Each trip costs only a few cents. And yet, he can bring up a huge family of probably 4-8 children. You must be thinking, how is that possible? Unlike the gluttons that we Singaporeans are, they are normally content with rice and some chili paste for their daily meals. Meat and fish are only served on special occasions or to a sick family member only. Even the extremely poor loafers in the kampungs get by on coconuts they pluck from the multitude of coconut trees growing around. Very few people have died of starvation in Kampungs unless there is a famine.

Some foreigners insist that Singaporeans violate human rights by paying our maids a criminally low wage. All I can say is HA HA in the most sarcastic tone I can summon. A maid earns approximately SGD50 working in Jarkata. She earns approximately $350 here. That's seven times more! And some caucasians have even said we treat them worse than humans because we don't give them a room on their own nor do we give them a bed. Why must we give our maid a room on her own??? Unlike most Americans who can easily afford to give their in-laws and children a room on their own due to cheap landed property, most Singaporeans are barely able to buy landed property. Given a kid his own room is tough, much less a maid. And what's wrong with sleeping on the mattress?? Back in the Kampungs, they use mats in most households! In fact, they are so poor that its quite a feat to have a sofa in the house.

As I get older, I think it is good to be generous to some people rather than everyone because they have the will to improve. For example, I wouldn't mind "adopting" a few street kids in Jarkata and Manila by paying for their education and some decent food. However, I would only do that IF the kid is willing to possess a little more ambition in life than being the next king of the beggars.

To me, the poor people always remain poor for a reason- they don't know how to keep their money. I was a little taken aback when I was in Jarkata. Almost everyone had a handphone (even the beggars dammit). In the kampung, I see women yaking away on their handphones whilst their children are dressed in rags/hand-me-downs, with no other toy beyond a cardbox (because they can't afford anything more). Calls might be cheap there, but it's still money. The men in Indonesia can easily be mistaken for chimney pipes- they are serial chain smokers! Even 14 year old boys are smoking. Sheesh. Ciggies are cheap there, but once again, it's still money. Money that could be channeled to better uses such as education or patching up that hole in the roof which could pass off as an airwell or sun roof.

This is a photo I took myself of a little boy playing with a cardbox. That's his only toy and his father can't even afford to buy him shoes. The clothes you see on him is a gift from his neighbours. His father has a really severe case of pile due to heavy labor (his pants are always bloody at the back). His mum is working in Taiwan, but she just went there, so she has no money to send back yet.


So, should we pity them? It is hard to say isn't it? But that's life to them. If we give money to them, are we helping them or harming them? After my long exposure to these poor people, I realized, it is better to leave them on their own because you can never help them all. If you truly want to help them, the old saying "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a life time" could not be more true. You will have to teach them to value of working hard for what they want instead of giving them money in hope that their lives will improve in time.

[i] Economically Less Developed Countries- please note that this is the politically correct term to use when describing countries like Indonesia, the Philippines, Cambodia, etc. The terms first world and third world have be phased out after the Cold War and Vietnam War. F.Y.I.: First World refers to US and its allies (i.e. democractic countries), Third World refers to Communist Countries and Second World refers to all the other countries that don't fit into either categories.