Singapore-the Club of Inspiring Elitists who should learn the value of shutting up if they can't do better

Recently, Ris Low came into the spotlight when everyone started critizing her English- "How on EARTH could someone of her calibre represent Singapore?? So MALU!!" Initially, I was nodding my head in full hearted agreement because she wasn't exactly what I would call "beautiful" or "hot" and her English was a monumental tragedy! She was obviously inarticulate and has trouble trying to organize and express her thoughts and feelings. The words that came out of her mouth were jumbled messes that were in a hurry to run out and trip over each other. The words she employed were really simple and weird...

Furthermore, I felt that she just revealed her ignorance with regards to South Africa when answering question about African-inspired fashion. It’s not just about leopard prints and zebras… In fact, most of the African inspired fashion is largely based on traditional tribal designs based on geometric patterns! The emphasis is on clothes that are outdoor look, color and comfort. Leopard prints and feathers are largely a by-product of the imposition of western ideals on a backward nation. The people there rarely wear fur and feathers except for tribal festivities, simply because it’s too damn hot.

This is an example of Safari-inspired Fashion:

I disagree with her idea of how to carry off animal prints without looking trashy, but I won’t go into it beyond the point “less is more” and no “mix and match”. I would also like to add that fashion is NOT about yourself… The opinion of others DO matter, they decide if you look like an ass or elegant. Your personal opinions do not matter in this case. So back to the old girl, is it that embarrassing to have her as a representative of Singapore? I thought of this question overnight and watched this video again. Surprisingly, I found myself reaching some new conclusions.

1.Nervousness
It is possible to attribute her extreme self-centered speech and bad choice of words to her nervousness. It was quite clear from her body language that she was very nervous. But if that’s the case, would she make a suitable representative for Singapore? She might be required to do speeches and rub shoulders with the political/industrial elites, would her nervousness make her look like a terrible village idiot?

2. Long tongue
I would attribute the countless mispronunciations to her long tongue, or at least I think she has a long tongue. She always sounds like she’s slurping her words. So can’t really blame her for that.

3. Ignorance
Singapore is a country with literate people who are both knowledgeable and yet ignorant in their own way. Thanks to our education system, our knowledge of the world is limited to what we can learn from the success of EMDCs and the reasons why ELDCs still cannot make it. Little effort is done to highlight the failures of EMDCs and how ELDCs do achieve successes slowly but ultimately. I’m hardly surprised when most of the Singaporeans I’ve spoke to:

- think that South Africa refers to the entire African continent
- have no idea that Egypt is part of the African continents
- have no idea what Biltong is
- are blissfully unaware that South Africa isn't just full of Savannas, there are deserts and jungles too! (I dunno how Singaporeans pass their geography exams)
- think the all of Africa still practices animalist worship. WRONG, some African cultures/tribes have been practicing Islam and Christianity as well for hundreds of years.
- are completely ignorant the South Africa is one of the MOST dangerous countries in the world (SA makes the US look safe).

Judging from such communal ignorance, who are we blame her for being ignorant when her strongest critics often need to look at themselves in the mirror first? I refuse to believe it when people insist they are NOT ignorant- rubbish, you can never know enough.

4. Age
She's only nineteen, some might say she should be mature enough, but I beg to differ. Unless she has a voracious appetite for books, nineteen is still the age of innocence and ignorance. She has yet to achieve the financial and emotional independence to see the world as it truly is. Nineteen is still the age where people think that the world is their piece of cake and opportunites for success are open and equal for everyone. They stil need to learn that whilst everyone is equal in society, there are some who are more equal than others. It is at the age where they still think about themselves first over others, the day they start putting others before themselves is the day where they full achieve maturity.

So is it a tragedy for her to represent Singapore? Are her critics any better than her? I always believed that criticism should be constructive and one should not criticize others unless one can prove to be better. I would openly criticize Ris Low because I believe that I’m way better than her in terms of worldly knowledge, fashion sense and linguistic expression. However, I will admit that I’m chronically shy when it comes to talking in front of a group of people. So fair is fair, I’ll shut up because I lost to her in one field.

Now let me move on to bitch about the other Singaporean critics! The main criticism is leveled at her language. I used to think Singapore was a place where good English was heavily prized. That ideal was smashed when I entered the working world. Based on emails and phone calls with “graduates”, “lowly clerks” and “warehouse guys”, I can safely say “Good English does NOT exist anywhere”. The good English that I see are usually from graduates, who consciously remember to follow grammatical rules and punctuations, and from Caucasians. However, it must be noted that not all Caucasians use good English, I’ve met some with worse English than an average kid from primary 6. So does good English have to be a must have for a representative in Singapore?

If you’ve noticed, Singapore has a culture of over-prizing graduate beauty queens. Our beauty queens- Rachel Kum, Joanne Peh and Felicia Chin are highly popular because of their status as graduates! They are seen as the “smarter breed”. However, is that true? They are as human as anyone of us, are we creating an artificial benchmark for them as well as ourselves to reach? What’s wrong with diploma or NT students representing Singapore? They are not part of the elitist culture, but they ARE part of our Singapore culture aren’t they?

For too long we have been obsessed with the idea that only the best of Singapore would be shown to the world, with the other “undesirable” aspects conveniently being swept under the carpet, away from the curious eyes of “foreign investors and dignitaries”. Should we give them a chance to appear in the limelight for once and accept them as they are? They are integral aspects of the culture after all, and the elitist club members are by no means perfect themselves…

As my friend SH said, such competitions are useless beyond their entertainment value. So what's the point of having such competitions anyway? It is all pointless competition engaging pointless people inviting pointless critics. Shouldn't such resources be channeled to more constructive activities such as saving Taiwanese flood victims? After all, the title of beauty queen is just a temporary crown, temporary fame and unnecessary pressure to create a farcical "virtuous image". I could only shake my head sadly when the public insisted that Rachel Kum be stripped of her status as beauty queen just because of some suggestive pictures of her being posted online. Must the public always pretend to have this moral high ground? I’m sure everyone had their heydays that they would rather not mention to their kids today. It’s just a meaningless competition for an empty crown, there’s no need to hold up their personal flaws against them- nobody is perfect.

The War against Obesity – The Response

De Maitre has mentioned the various reasons behind obesity amongst people, and postulated that obesity may or may not be the fault of the obese person in question. There are genetic, biological and psychological reasons behind obesity as well.

But given those reasons, we still need to consider the other perspectives of the problem of obesity.

First, the nature of food culture in the world today,
Second, the pervasiveness of slimming centres,
And third, the socio-economic reasons behind personal lifestyles.

As I have mentioned in my post, It’s What You Eat, and How You Eat, food culture plays a role in influencing dietary habits. De Maitre is right in saying that fast food by itself is harmless, as long as consumption is controlled. But the problem is not just the lack of control among some people; it is the sheer ubiquity of fast food that is the real problem.
The issue is not very pertinent to Singapore, but in other countries like the US, the relatively higher price of “conventional” food influences the dietary habits of people toward fast food. The problem is further compounded by the fact that working people tend not to engage in cooking, due to it being time-consuming.

So what can we do? Mac’s et al understands the nature of the problem, so they are starting to introduce healthier food in their menus, and to stop the sale of “supersize” meals. But more can be done. In addition to the control on quantity, there has also to be control on quality, to focus on nutritional value.

But even then, there are still other issues. Food that cause obesity is one front in the war against obesity, processed foods (specifically, the pre-cooked, pre-packed meals that you just chuck into the microwave) is the other front. These foods have no nutrition to speak of, and are saturated with sugar and salt. These are the foods that also contribute to obesity.

Therefore, in order to truly deal with the problem of obesity where food is concerned, I propose three “offensives”

First, to control servings in fast food restaurants, and to introduce healthier food,
Second, to “boycott” processed foods for their lack of nutritional value and poor taste,
Third, to introduce and promote natural ingredients and healthy cooking methods.

The idea of these changes is to fundamentally change food culture to one that is healthier.

Second, on the pervasiveness of slimming centres.

Unlike De Maitre, I personally don’t have an issue with slimming centres. In the exhaustion of all options for slimming, the slimming centre can provide some solution to one’s weight and figure woes. But of course, the concern of over-reliance on slimming centres for weight management rather than to adopt a more balanced lifestyle is still valid. But for me, the problem can be interpreted in another perspective. Given the social pressure to look good, there is immense demand for slimming programmes and weight management programmes, along with skincare and cosmetic surgery. So the problem isn’t just over-reliance, it’s when people forget that it’s only a “short-cut”.

Third, on socio-economic reasons.

The socio-economic reasons that contribute to obesity are as follows: a “couch potato” society, and the demands of work.

The “couch potato” society is one that is fundamentally unbalanced. There is little exercise, either because of the lack of personal will, or the lack of time, or both. The prevalence of television and the internet means people spend a disproportionate amount of time in front of some form of screen. Given this unbalanced lifestyle, poor dietary habits is certain to compound the problem of weight gain and obesity.

The demands of work means that people do not have time to exercise. Of course, it’s quite often an excuse. But the point is, the amount of time spent at work creates pressures against the conduct of regular exercise. The stresses of work also mean some people binge to de-stress.

To conclude, the consequence of such a lifestyle only means that people are doomed to a fate of obesity. The problems of obesity isn’t just personal, it’s structural in nature. It’s a war of many fronts, against many enemies, all of them much more powerful than the individual, who is armed only with the weak desire to control his/her weight.

Does technology help or hinder social interaction?

WRITTEN WITH THE HELP OF PHONG

Man is a social animal, evolution has made us so. Why? In the past, the world was a dangerous place where every man needed and extra eye or hand to aid survival. In a social unit, they can share their resources and help each other survive the harsh environment that they live in. As time passed, writing progressed from pictures to symbols and characters. Communication was primarily through verbal and written means. As time progressed, we opened up a whole new world of mobile communication through SMS, emails, MMS, cyber platforms like MMORPGs, Friendster or Facebook! People from all across the world can communicate with each other without meeting up personally and yet know how each other looks like, what are their preferences, age, birthday, etc.

But are these communication methods helping or destroying peoples’ social skills? There are 2 prevailing view regarding technology (the internet) and social relationships. The first theory is old and conservative (mostly created in the 1990s), it proposes that no form of stable or genuine relationship can be formed online and the Internet only served to atomize society, isolating the individuals. In contrast, the modern view was predominantly advanced by Walther, with this theory of the hyper-peronal effects claiming that the Internet and its communication tools actually help to create a lot of affordances to facilitate communication and socialization. More recently, Dmitri Williams also suggests that online games like MMORPGs actually have characteristics of a "third place", which is a sociological concept advanced by Ray Oldenburg to refer to sites of socialization, with the first place being home and second place, school or work.

So this bring out another question, where is the border between virtual versus reality? Yes, MMORPGs, Facebook and Friendster are just social platforms online that are virtual, regardless of how they look. But then, the relationships there are real because real friendships are made, often offline and many become couples. But this line is blurred when people have virtual marriages with ceremonies and attendees (other gamers who are their friends). Facebook and Friendster are based on cyberspace, so their communities are cyber-based, yet their relationships are real in the sense that today A insults B on Facebook, tomorrow, B can kill A for it. That is the real thing. Also, the cyber world has become a platform for people to share their “fantasies” that they are unable to enact in the real world due to social norms and rules- virtual rape, virtual bullying, etc...

Thanks to the technology, disagreements can be displayed using cowardly methods such as cc-ing every “important” person in the company in a bid to “cover ka-cheng”. Either that or cowardly attacks on people’s personal blogs such as leaving hostile messages on tag boards, or making their enemies’ blog links public on community blogs. I’m sure you have heard of stories about husbands or wives telling each other “I want a divorce, I’m leaving you” through emails or sms because they lack the courage to do it face to face.

I’ve also noted that many teenagers today are slaves to technology. It has gotten so bad that many of them are incapable of interpersonal interaction face to face. When I mean incapable, I don’t mean that they are unable to make friends, I mean they are unable to speak their minds, nor are they capable of conveying their opinions through verbal (choice of words) or non-verbal (i.e. body language) means.

Despite this, the internet has been a good place for people to socialize and interact with others from other parts of the world, socioeconomic groups, languages, race and religion. On my end, I’ve gotten to know new people- some good some bad, but every one of them left me a precious lesson on differences in people and their beliefs. I just find that with the ready availability of emails, I hate to call people up or meet them face to face. I prefer long emails that leave me a record of what transpired. =)

Why can't people just be themselves?? ( Anorexia Nervosa)

In my previous post "Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder- or isn't it?" I did talk about annorexic women. Annorexia is becoming a really problematic issue in today's society where looks are highly prized over brains. I was surfing youtube and I stumbled across this documentry. Please take time off to watch it. It covers the dangers of online anorexia communities.

I'm sure you guys all know what is anorexia nervosa by now. Personally, I think anorexia is terrible. It makes people look as appealing as a set of chopsticks you can dig out of the nearest bin. It robs them of their mental faculties and common sense. They look half dead and terrible. I don't know how they can find such joy in being such bony wrecks. Even the Jewish P.O.W.s found in concentration camps after WW2 look better than them.



As a food lover, I hate skinny people. They put me off my food because they don't eat together with me. It's so damn unfriendly and plain rude. And I noticed that constant dieting makes them so insecure that they drive their friends away. Because they ask everyone if they look skinny and sexy, and everyone has to lie through their teeth. As anorexia affects women more than men, all I can say is the ideal woman has curves. CURVES you know, like Monica Belluci?



Compared to this:


In Singapore, Anorexia is a growing problem, thanks to this stupid fashion trend that only makes your feet look big- the SKINNY jeans. And thanks to idiots like Fuazi Rassull who denies inspiring his readers to be anorexic. [READ HERE] That's bullshit, people cross the line from being skinny to anorexic when they cannot control the urge to be thinner and they set more and more unrealistic goals when it comes to weight loss. Besides, his moto is "Get Thin or Die Trying" that's a typical anorexic's goal.

But Fauzi, who is also the creator of "The Thinspo Club" on Facebook's rival social networking site Friendster, said all he was trying to do was gather like-minded individuals to share slimming tips.

"I just want Singaporeans to lead a healthy lifestyle as well," he said.

By the way, I hardly call the diet of bread and instant noodles healthy... Anyway,it might be a good thing if he starves himself to death. Singapore is a country that learns best by example. If he dies horribly, his followers will stop following him and society as a whole will learn how anorexics can be so caught up in their own "fantasy" that they die uglier than the day they were born.

To me, the ideal figure should be fit. A little fat here and there is fine. The last thing we need in this world are a bunch of wimps who can only smile and taking pretty pcitures but unable to do any physical labor. In the case of Rassull, I wonder if he's even capable of completing a road march with a full pack or practice 2hours of rifle drill. In fact, I predict that his life might be worse than hell if he enters the army because they will force him to eat and make an example out of him due to his penchant for being flashy.

There are more medical and psychological reasons as to why people become anorexic. One of which is control- eating is something that you are fully in control of. But I won't go into details. I want to focus more on the devastating effects of anorexia on the patient and his/her family and friends. Many people have starved themselves to death due to anorexia. Why can't people just be happy with themselves?

Most anorexics are lonely and they spend a lot of time on self pity and criticism. As a general rule, they are never happy and content. I think it's fine to be a chubby as long as you have a lovely personality. Skinny but sensitive and emotional people are definitely not my cup of tea. =D

In this documentry, the presenter actually experiments with a diet plan provided by one of the "pro-ana" websites. She has to survive on a total meal of 100 calories a day. That means half an apple for breakfast, half an apple for dinner and one cucumber. She broke the diet by the end of the day and was suprised by the sense of guilt that swamped her. When she tried to diet again, it was clear that she was starting to be incoherent and distacted.

In the documentry, it was revealed that many of the anorexis are very young. Approximately 10 years old. They gain inspiration from famous celebrities such as Victoria Beckham, Kate Moss, Kiera Knightley, etc.










This documentry brings out this million dollar question: Should we shut down such websites?

I would also like to highlight that if you're single and you can't find a partner. It might not be because of your looks, but your character. As demonstrated in my previous post "Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder- or isn't it?" there's always someone out there who will love you for what you are. =D Character improvement beats plastic surgery, liposunction or crash dieting because you will always have the knowledge that people hang out with who you really are than what they think you are.

Boys, give me your opinion on what do you look for in a future partner? Please think hard about it and give me your honest opinion.

Girls, give me your opinion on what do you look for in a future partner? Please think hard about it and give me your honest opinion.

Singapore: The nation of closet slobs

Singapore is an economically developed country with one of the most modern infrastructure in Southeast Asia. We have a reputation for being a clean and green country with a very polite and industrious working force. We have a strong economy, sound political structure and social harmony. Our students are intelligent and capable potentials being groomed to lead Singapore into greater heights.

Well, that’s what they all tell you. In truth, we are a nation of slobs- the main philosophy in life here is “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. Nothing resembling progress occurs until someone submits a serious complaint that sends everyone scrambling to fix it before they lose their jobs… We hire others to do the dirty work whilst we maintain the illusion of soaring success and acute intelligence.

Look at the young adults today, for all their academic and corporate achievements, how many are actually capable of cooking a full meal? I.e. rice, fish, meat, veg and soup? Most of the people I’ve spoken to are woefully unable to progress beyond frying an egg and cooking instant noodles. When I spoke to my old art teacher who went for a year long course in Australia, she told me the horrors she noticed in the hostel there. Singaporean students were making a lot of calls back home to mummy to ask stuff like:

“How long does it take to boil an egg?”
“How to use the laundry machine?”
“How to get rid of the stain on my white shirt?”
“What type of soap powder to buy?”
“How to cook rice?”

The first and last ones were a real joke. To me, they are really basic. Ok, maybe rice cooking needs some skill and practice. As a general rule, the water level should reach your mid knuckle when you press down the rice. It varies with different brand and type of rice. As for egg boiling, it’s about 10 minutes for hard boil and about 5 minutes for soft boiled eggs. This is a website for all those who can’t even manage an egg- http://www.mrbreakfast.com/ask.asp

Singaporeans are too dependent on their mothers and maids. I’ve witness many a scenario where children are brought up in a completely safe environment till the point that they are nothing but spineless upstarts with a brain that they don’t know how to use properly. Scoring well academically does not equate to intelligence in my opinion. Having a PHD means you are clever but not necessarily wise nor insightful.

For example, when children fall down and scrap their knee, the maid gets blamed and scolded. As a result, the kid is always kept closeted to ensure his safety. To me, there’s nothing wrong with children getting a little bumped and scrapped now and then as it teaches them the following principles:

• Pull yourself up when you fall; mummy isn’t going to be there forever (she has a shelf life and expiry date, you know)
• Pain reminds you that you are alive and it will be a constant factor in your life. Learn how to cope with it and use it as a motivating factor to push you into achieving greater feats in life. Mummy isn’t going to coddle you and give you a big kiss each time you undergo emotional turmoil or an injury later on in life.
• There is danger everywhere, you (and only you) can protect yourself by learning how negotiate your way around them with care. Mummy can’t be telling you to mind the wet floor everyday of your life.

These are precious lessons in life that we need to learn through experience. If parents deprive their children of experience, all the children have are certificates proving their academic capabilities and nothing more.

Singaporean children are so spoilt that they have almost everything they want and need. Primary school kids have a handphone, mp3, computer, good clothes, a lot of assessment books, tuition, etc. Is it the fault of the parents? Yes. It is possible that they work hard to give their kids the luxury they never had in their youth. It is possible that there is a competition among them to see who can provide the best for their children. What they do not know is that they are spoiling their children beyond belief. I’ve seen children screaming at their maid to get them a glass of water and it’s suddenly the maid’s job to ask hospitable questions to guests such as “Would you like a drink?” Tsk, that’s what the host should be asking the guest and instructing the maid to serve up.

Children today do not know the meaning of having to go hungry because their parents go hungry for them. They don’t know how to make their own beds because the maid or their mother does it for them. They can’t cook because parents are afraid that they will burn themselves as well as the entire house. Children are taught to packet food or eat cup noodles rather than cook a proper healthy meal for themselves. Children contribute to household cleaning with a broom/mop or “Magic Clean” dusters. That’s easy. But many of them do not know how to sweep or mop the floor properly! By my standards, they are merely rearranging the dust. When I mean clean, the floor is the “safe to eat your food off the floor” clean. =) I’m a Detol monster who insists on moping the floor by hand.

Look at home economics taught in schools today. In my mother’s generation, they were taught which parts of the cow/pig/goat were to be used for what type of cooking. They were taught how to do mending in addition to doing pretty stitches. They were taught how to use the sewing machine. Mum said she was thought how to cut and make her own dress. They were taught how to bake muffins and cookies! And the used the proper fire stoves and ovens.

By my generation, home economics was a joke. It was more like a financial management class with cooking demonstrations thrown in. All I learnt was:

• How to differentiate between a want and a need when it comes to spending
• Kitchen and household safety
• How to have a healthy balanced diet (not that I follow it)
• What I would call a sewing demonstration rather than a actual sewing class. We made a hand puppet and a letter holder. The stitches I learnt were oversewing stitch, running stitch and cross stitch (for sewing the button eyes onto my puppet. And I also learnt how to use fabric glue. That’s it. The pieces were all precut for me and I didn’t go anywhere near a sewing machine. I guess they didn’t want students to cut or prick their lovely little PERFECT fingers.
• I learnt how to cook macaroni chicken soup, shepherd’s pie and spaghetti. The stoves were all induction cookers to ensure that we won’t burn down the entire building or ourselves. The macaroni was the most tasteless and healthy soup I ever had in my life. The chicken meat was so fat free that I could kill you if I threw it at your head after boiling it. It was dry and HARD. Never mind that, there’s no salt at all. The shepherd’s pie was a greater joke. There was a pre-boiled potato waiting for me. All I had to do was to take a fork and mesh it. The teacher fried the meat for all of us. Than she filled up the aluminum foil cups for us with the meat, told us to spread the potatoes on top of it and baked it for us. The Spaghetti was also an interesting experience- boil the spaghetti and open a bottle of tomato paste (not the Preggo Spaghetti sauce type, it’s really tomato paste). Again, it was a tasteless disaster.
• I also learnt the cooking appliances were unpredictable monsters since only half of the stoves/ovens in the HE room can be used at one time. Out of which, you have to chose to use either the stove or the oven. Otherwise, the whole building will black out.
  

All in all, I call the revised HE curriculum a joke. It overdid the tradeoff between safety, taste and health. Ask any mother or grandmother, who can cook well, how many times have they been burnt by spraying oil or being too careless near a hot wok/stove? I have quite about twenty burns accumulated from the past 10 years. My interest in sewing died as I grew older, but I still do it for fun when I feel like it. =)

Another point that I’ll bring up is- how many Singaporeans can actually survive on their own in a jungle, without modern technology? I’m going to throw out the NS guys and OBS monsters for the sake of this argument. If a war comes to Singapore, how many Singaporeans know how to identify edible plants and animals from our forests? How many Singaporeans can start a fire without the following tools- matches, lighter, solid fuel and a fire starter?

Here we are, all proud of our meager accomplishments in life when most Singaporeans don’t even know how to unclog their own sink or toilet bowl… Did you know that one part of baking soda and 4 parts of vinegar can unclog a choked sink? How many of you know how to change your own lock? Given our ever increasing levels of affluence, we rather call the handyman to do this short of menial labor and call them stupid and unaccomplished behind their backs. Well, don’t call people idiots-with-no-future unless there’s nothing they can do that you can’t do.

Most of the Singaporeans that I know are lacking general knowledge. They read the newspaper religiously for exams and to ensure that they won’t look like a complete idiot when questioned about the latest global scandal. They reject the notion of reading beyond the school curriculum because they have this mentality that the important stuff will be covered in school, anything beyond that it useless. Well, they’re wrong. There’s never such thing as useless knowledge. Almost every Singaporean, who doesn’t specialize in history, is blissfully unaware that Singapore was MORE than a little fishing village when Raffles swung by. We have archaeological evidence that we were once a thriving trading center during the Srivijaya Empire. Secondly, I would like to highlight that Sir Stamford Raffles isn’t our founder. The name “Singapore” was given to us by Sang Nila Utama, so he is our founder, not the angmoh that waltzed by looking for a nice place to set up a new trading post. See how terribly history can be misconstrued? And how stupid students gobble it up wholesale for the sake of exams? We can’t even be bothered to question what we have been taught, because it is unacceptable and it’ll most likely lead to an F grade.

Schools today are so anal about MCs, which is something I frown upon greatly. I understand that this system was set up to prevent students from forging letters on their parents’ behalf to excuse them from school, so they can do more meaningful stuff like playing. But if I’m having a fever due to a cold, why do I have to see a Doctor so that I can get an MC when I can just bloody well spend a day or two at home gulping down lots of water, Panadol Cold and sleeping the illness off? I have better things to throw my money on. I think more discretion should be practiced such as calling up the kid’s parents to verify the authenticity of the letter. See, even teachers are lazy!

Look at parents today! As long as they can afford to hire the maid, the maid has to settle the household chores, taking care of the employers’ mad temper, their rabid children, etc. In Singapore, maids are the surrogate mothers to their employer’s children. It’s their “duty” to make sure the child eats well, sleeps well, shower well, study well and play well. It makes you wonder- what the hell are our Singapore mothers doing? I think the excuse that she has to work for her children’s comfort is crap. All children need are clean comfortable clothes, a full stomach, comfortable bed and a mother’s love/companionship. The last factor is the most important; they don’t need the branded clothes, expensive fish/meat, King-Koil mattress, etc. They can live without it. I strongly suspect that such expensive treatment is due a mother’s guilt that she isn’t spending enough time with her children. That’s why when children turn deviant; I blame their parents first more than anyone else, for not nipping the problem in the bud.

Misplaced Pity and Misunderstanding

When I travel overseas, I always get plagued by beggars. It brings up the question: to give or not to give? On the practical note, it is not advisable to give them any money because you will be merely feeding the begging industry, which is already overstaffed with all the lazy never do wells. Not to mention, once you patronize one beggar, you might see a long queue forming up behind him. On the ehical level, it is hard not to feel pity for the poor people trying to get some money to feed their families.

In the past, I donated money only to beggars who lost either both arms or all limb because I figured those with hands and legs can jolly well make themselves more useful than that. This continued until the day that I found out that some of them had their limbs forcefully amputated by gangs in order to use them as icons to milk sympathetic money out of soft hearted people. So I'm a hard hearted person now. I gave up the moralistic battle because I'm not sure if I'm helping to feed the beggar or the godforsaken gangster.

Take a look at the following video about the street kids and the dead poor people in Manila. Do you feel pity for them? People stuck in the vicious cycle of poverty, unable to afford school or even a proper meal, etc?


Well, I don't pity them because of a few reasons. In Jarkata, I learnt that women walking around with a troop of children to beg for money along the streets are not necessarily poor and neither are the kids their beget. They have an industry of borrowed children. These women "rent" their neighbours kids in order to create an image of a poor woman bogged down with the task of feeding her children.

The business of begging has reached the point where pretty much everything is staged. Walk along the streets of Jarkata or Manila and you'll see children lying down by the roadside as if they are halfdead from the lack of food. It would be natural to assume that they would be living somewhere nearby as they won't have the energy to walk off right? When nightfalls, the street is mysteriously empty, and there are no little kiddies lying postrate on the road pavements. And I've once seen the kids get up and run at the sight of an aggressive policeman too! So I have my doubts.

In ELDCs [i], the poor aren't as poor as they look due to the low standards of living. When I drove into the rural parts of Indonesia and the Philippines, I learnt that you can survive on very little money there. For example, a trishaw rider in the kampung probably earns less than 10 SGD a month. He peddles probably an average of one or two kampung women and her shopping from the market to her home each day. Each trip costs only a few cents. And yet, he can bring up a huge family of probably 4-8 children. You must be thinking, how is that possible? Unlike the gluttons that we Singaporeans are, they are normally content with rice and some chili paste for their daily meals. Meat and fish are only served on special occasions or to a sick family member only. Even the extremely poor loafers in the kampungs get by on coconuts they pluck from the multitude of coconut trees growing around. Very few people have died of starvation in Kampungs unless there is a famine.

Some foreigners insist that Singaporeans violate human rights by paying our maids a criminally low wage. All I can say is HA HA in the most sarcastic tone I can summon. A maid earns approximately SGD50 working in Jarkata. She earns approximately $350 here. That's seven times more! And some caucasians have even said we treat them worse than humans because we don't give them a room on their own nor do we give them a bed. Why must we give our maid a room on her own??? Unlike most Americans who can easily afford to give their in-laws and children a room on their own due to cheap landed property, most Singaporeans are barely able to buy landed property. Given a kid his own room is tough, much less a maid. And what's wrong with sleeping on the mattress?? Back in the Kampungs, they use mats in most households! In fact, they are so poor that its quite a feat to have a sofa in the house.

As I get older, I think it is good to be generous to some people rather than everyone because they have the will to improve. For example, I wouldn't mind "adopting" a few street kids in Jarkata and Manila by paying for their education and some decent food. However, I would only do that IF the kid is willing to possess a little more ambition in life than being the next king of the beggars.

To me, the poor people always remain poor for a reason- they don't know how to keep their money. I was a little taken aback when I was in Jarkata. Almost everyone had a handphone (even the beggars dammit). In the kampung, I see women yaking away on their handphones whilst their children are dressed in rags/hand-me-downs, with no other toy beyond a cardbox (because they can't afford anything more). Calls might be cheap there, but it's still money. The men in Indonesia can easily be mistaken for chimney pipes- they are serial chain smokers! Even 14 year old boys are smoking. Sheesh. Ciggies are cheap there, but once again, it's still money. Money that could be channeled to better uses such as education or patching up that hole in the roof which could pass off as an airwell or sun roof.

This is a photo I took myself of a little boy playing with a cardbox. That's his only toy and his father can't even afford to buy him shoes. The clothes you see on him is a gift from his neighbours. His father has a really severe case of pile due to heavy labor (his pants are always bloody at the back). His mum is working in Taiwan, but she just went there, so she has no money to send back yet.


So, should we pity them? It is hard to say isn't it? But that's life to them. If we give money to them, are we helping them or harming them? After my long exposure to these poor people, I realized, it is better to leave them on their own because you can never help them all. If you truly want to help them, the old saying "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a life time" could not be more true. You will have to teach them to value of working hard for what they want instead of giving them money in hope that their lives will improve in time.

[i] Economically Less Developed Countries- please note that this is the politically correct term to use when describing countries like Indonesia, the Philippines, Cambodia, etc. The terms first world and third world have be phased out after the Cold War and Vietnam War. F.Y.I.: First World refers to US and its allies (i.e. democractic countries), Third World refers to Communist Countries and Second World refers to all the other countries that don't fit into either categories.

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder- or isn't it?

There is something wrong with me... Maybe its my assexual nature, I never found either gender good enough to hold my attention for more than 2 minutes. TWO minutes, thats all the time I need to dig out a person's flaws and my bone deep cynicism and distrust of people to kick into gear. Either the person is as interesting an average *bleep* (I'm leaving that part out until I can find something I find less interesting than an average human), or there's a something stuff between that person's teeth, or it could be bad breath, or it could be body odour, too much hair, too little hair, terrible literacy skills or just that set of protruding ears/nose. So what is beauty?

I always thought the world of muscular perfection in people. The beautiful definitions, sharp edges and alluring network of veins. It looks like a work of art to me. Until I came upon the picture of Madonna looking like this (left), taken from the Telegraph. From that moment, my fantasies came to a screeching halt. I had this compulsive urge to scream the "White HULK!!" (I'm not being racist here, Madonna isn't green... yet)





She has reached a stage of physical perfection that almost every individual muscle is fully defined. Her personal trainer, Anderson, had the guts to say "Madonna will never look her age," she insists. "She doesn't even look half her age – she looks 19." Well, I say Madonna looks like one of the exhibits by Dr van Hagen's body (minus the testicles and penis plus a slightly bigger but rapidly shrinking set of breasts). Would you call that sexy/hot? Personally, its a loud bluidy NO.




Now, lets compare the following pictures:





Do you find these skinny girls hot? Or would you think annorexic guys look hot?? Some people do, but I don't. To me, dating skinny girls are like dating the lalangs (nothing much to grab onto other than their heads) and dating skinny boys are pointless waste of time because they are wimps.


Now lets take a look at the opposite; do you find them hot? Personally, no. But I like them because they have a guts to show off their bodies with pride.

These are just a few examples- so what affects our perception of beauty? Age? Personality? Gender? Size? Race? Just to highlight how beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, take a look at the following videos from the Maury Show called "Opposites Attract". Enjoy!

Size and Age?


Size?




Hot versus Not?


So, in summary, I would say, beauty has no boundaries in the eye of the beholder. So I can say I'm a dysfunctional idiot. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

The Dark Tower at Buona Vista

That is the most fitting tribute to the MOE HQ that I have ever encountered in my life. We have the world's "best education system". But all I can say is *cough* bullshit. We have all the good grades in the world but the worst ability when it comes to applying what we have learnt. We have all the best plans in mind but the most disastrous outcomes thanks to confound variables such as parents and social attitudes.

We have been taught the value of studying hard, the pursuit of material success, to the point of stupidity. We have created a paper chase society where the more certificates you have, the better. The longer your resume, the more impressive you are. My point is- certificates do not reflect your true capabilities.

Our education system is conspicuously lacks one major element- emotion. Students and teachers are nothing but cogs in our grand education system. Teachers are bogged down by meaningless administrative duties (makes you wonder what the admin staff are for). Students are made to pay for the mistakes they made during a moment of playfulness. Students are not taught the joy of studying, the joy of expressing their thoughts in essays, the humility that comes with knowledge. In Singapore, one can be a millionaire just by starting a tuition agency.

Parents in their kiasu pursuit of guaranteeing their children’s grades and certification, sign their children up for endless sessions of tuition, swimming lessons, piano lessons, violin lessons, golf lessons, etc. All in the name of a well rounded education, without realizing the level of stress and emotional neglect imposed on their children. Some children grow up thinking that parental love is conditional, depending on their grades and achievements in school. That’s plain sad, some children commit suicide or turn deviant and completely reject their parents on the basis “since I can’t study, they won’t bother or love me anymore”.

The blind pursuit of A grades by students and teachers (whose pay and promotional prospects are dependent on their students’ grades) has resulted in a culture of rote learning and the death of creativity. Students are spoon-fed what they need to know in order to score during exams, questions beyond that are rarely entertained. Learning has become a chore, where everyone thinks the same. There is joy in being creative or proposing alternate points of view because it does not guarantee a good grade. Just look at the way people memorize sample essays. As a marker, I would definitely prefer creative answers over structured ones.

Those who have gotten their certification on the other hand, normally end up big headed. They think they own the world and they are guaranteed the best job with the best pay, only to realize that in the working world, seniority and experience matters more. Those working the HR department can tell you that Singapore graduates want obscenely high pays, company cars, business class tickets, and etc. privileges only given to senior managers with at least 10 years of experience. Many graduates enter the working world with a “holier than thou” attitude and they like to think they know better. Knowledge is power, humility is wisdom.

The ruling elite from the “dark tower” seem to be implementing a lot of useless policies recently. I think Social studies, Project work (PW) and Sex Education are the classic examples of waste of time. Social studies should be about basic sociology, not propaganda promoting Singapore’s successful policy implementation in the social, military and economic spheres. Ask any university student and they will tell you what a tragic parody PW is. It doesn’t teach you any precious writing skill that you will need in university because of it crappy outlines. In University, you’ll encounter MANY types of bibliography- MLA, APA, ASA, AMA, etc. And the research done is a lot more concise and presented in a different format. Till today, I have no idea what the hell are they looking out for. Sex education is quite a joke to me because it focuses mainly on physical abstinence and protection, but it doesn’t focus on the emotional protection. The teenage years are fraught with emotional issues, where many teenagers think sex is the universe. Ask many teenage girls, they think sex is a means of obtaining love, a mentality that many will maintain until they mature. I think teaching students how to build healthy relationships is much better than knocking into them the importance of using contraceptives.

Somehow our education system is also a primary reason for the “death of dreams”. I have met many playful people who chose play over work at one point in their academic lives. Because of that, they are consigned to EM3, normal tech, etc and labeled as stupid for the rest of their lives. Although I use the term stupid liberally on everyone (including myself), I don’t really believe in it because people may be deficit in one area but superb in another. For example, I’m a complete idiot when it comes to music and dance. I have probably 50 or 60 left and right feet and malfunctioning brain when it comes to following beats.

These people are condemned to learn boring technical skills without hope of clawing their way back into the express level. Ok, they can climb back, but it’s a slow hard climb back up. Many give up and spend their lives hating studying. What they don’t realize is school isn’t the start and end of studying- there is a world of knowledge outside the textbook. Learning doesn’t end in school; it is truly a life-long experience. MOE needs to change its stance- success if life should not be limited to certification. We also need to look deep into ourselves and change our social perception regarding people and their jobs. I disagree with the social perception that construction workers and street cleaners are lousy jobs. To me, they are hard working enough to find an honest job to earn a living. The people that I look down on are those who cannot hold onto a stable job just because they find the job too tough or the pay too little, and go around borrowing money from their friends and relatives as a result.

All the reason to SWEAR, in moderation of course

Scientists have discovered that uttering swear words can help to lessen the feeling of physical pain.

Dr Richard Stephens, who conducted the study at the university's school of psychology, believes it may explain why swearing is still common place in languages around the world.

He suggests that swearing could have evolved as a way of raising aggression levels and reducing the feeling of pain to allow our ancestors to flee or fight back when attacked by predators.

He said: "We think it could be part of the flight or fight response. In the volunteers who swore, we also found they had an elevated heart rate, so it could be increasing their aggression levels.

"Increased aggression has been shown to reduce people's sensitivity to pain, so it could be swearing is helping this process."

Taken from: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/5803300/Swearing-can-reduce-the-feeling-of-pain.html

I always had this stand- "swear when you need to but nothing more". A lot of youngsters think there's nothing wrong with swearing and that swearing is cool. I think it's just plain ugly and crude. I'm willing to forgive rabid swearing in the event that you stub your toe or got run over by an errant cyclist but I'm completely unprepared to forgive people who use "F**k* in every sentence they utter.

The following video is a rough background swearing/cursing, etc.

"What Is" Series- What is Bullying?

After I came home last night, I checked my blog and AALT2’s chatbox and surprise surprise, I saw Jeannie’s renewed threats and her god sister (Qitong)’s claims that I have bullied Jeannie. I didn’t know calling Jeannie stupid on the basis of spelling my name wrongly 3x was tantamount to bullying. If anything, I was wondering how on earth the pair of them can achieve that many spelling errors- “irratating”, “distuarb” (that appeared 2x, so I can assume that’s how she thinks disturb should be spelt) and “prossitude”. I pointed that out, called her stupid for her spelling errors and bimbotic attitude- so now I’m a bully.

All I can say is HAHAHAHAHAHA. =P I always had a morbid sense of humor that is coated with a thick layer of mockery and cynicism. It is ironic how it can become a crime in the eyes of a bully with a huge ego who thinks everyone is jealous of her beauty. I think there’s nothing to admire about a bimbo who can’t spell and speak coherently. So today, I’ve decided to write a post about bullying.

Basically, it defines bullying as “saying and doing things to hurt a person. It is usually done on purpose and repeatedly.” The video goes on to describe the types of bullying- relational, verbal and physical; the results of continuing to be a bully- friendless and getting scolding; the possible reactions of the victim- freeze in fear, fight back or walk away and complain to the teacher; the types of bystanders behavior- ignore the bullying, encourage the bully, support the victim or avenge the bully.

I think this is a very interesting video, but it is too optimistic and stereotypical for my liking. The bully is type casted as the typical “kiam-pah-bin” Ah Beng with his arrogantly, sour face and standing collar. And the victim is the typical village nerd… The points they highlighted were good, but they didn’t have to explore deeper expects of bullying. I’ll be highlighting some in my post.

Anyone who has an edge over others in terms of money, influence or knowledge can be said to be bullies. I would take it further through the exploration of a bully's desire for control and self gratification, and the malicious consequences.

This wasn’t highlighted much upon- most bullies have insecure personalities; they have to belittle others to feel good. Unfortunately, they belittle others the wrong way- for example, they call other people stupid when they are more stupid than others. And most bullies run in a pack- “birds of a feather flock together”. They need emotional and physical support in their actions, especially when they are at the losing end. They can only summon the courage to bully others with the backing of others. Ironically, when someone stands up to them, they go around crying for help claiming they have been bullied. Well, all I can say is, don’t look for trouble and complain when trouble finds you.

Bullies need to have control to feel good- people must scrape and bow before them. Once you demonstrate that you are not afraid of them, they normally react by ignoring you and saying stuff like you aren’t worthy of their attention. Alternatively, they switch tactics and embark on greater attempts to discredit you (relational bullying). I will be focusing a lot more on relational bullying because it is more common in today’s context than physical bullying and its effects are a lot deeper and long lasting. In the video, the example used was “don’t be friends with him!” In life, it goes way beyond that. As mentioned earlier, another form of relational bullying can come in the form is discrediting you. That means they go about spreading malicious tales about you. I.e. you are gay/lesbian, a gossip, a backstabber, a liar, a promiscuous bitch, etc. In the cyber world, you get criticisms about how fat and ugly you are if you post up your pictures and an “enemy” happens to see it.

In the working world, relational bullying is so prominent that it’s a norm. I’m sure you have heard of many stories of people resigning from their jobs because of bosses or colleagues from hell. These are due to the prevalence of certain factors.
a.EGO - Big ego means greater need to be a bully to feel good and powerful.
b.AMBITION – Big ambition means climbing up the corporate ladder FAST. If you don’t have the means to achieve promotions the “natural” way, backstabbing and sabotage is required.
c.BITCHY COLLEAGUES – “When in Rome, do as Romans do” you need to be a bigger bully than others to survive.
d.AGGRESSION – Some people are just plain aggressive, they are just hostile to everyone so that they feel superior to others.

Bullying has the most severe impact on people’s lives especially during their teenage years. This is the critical point in everyone’s life where there are many self doubts and insecurities regarding their looks. Many have committed suicide due to the unrelenting pressure exerted by bullies and themselves. To me, it takes two hands to clap- bullies get tired once they realize they have no hold over you.


Will I feel guilty if Jeannie jumps of the nearest HDB flat? Nah, I don’t have sympathy for weak people. If fact, I admire courage. Look at Yu-Kym, she got nominated for most insightful blog awards. I like her because she has the courage to stick to her guns. She openly posts pictures of herself on her blog and people just avidly criticize her for being a slut, how old she is, how ugly she is, what a copy cat she is, etc. Instead of being upset and shutting down her blog, she stands firm and continues to post her thoughts. I think she is a fantastic blog that all adolescents should read for the purpose of sex education and BGR experiences. I particularly like this proverb that she pasted on her blog: “Pigs are afraid of becoming fat, people are afraid of becoming popular."- meaning a healthy pig will be killed and eaten; a successful person will be a target. At least she has something to be successful about. She doesn’t brag; she relates that’s the reason why I will support her anytime over other promiscuous girls. It’s the ATTITUDE, something that the Ah Lians and Ah Bengs will never understand.

So back to the question- do I consider myself a bully? Maybe, what's your opinion guys? =) I insult everyone equally and fairly (including myself). I’m way too cynical I guess. No one is ever perfect enough for me to call pretty/beautiful- having a pretty face doesn’t mean that your fart will smell of roses nor does it mean you have the personality or intelligence to match your looks. Criticism should never be classified as bullying, especially when it is based on facts. I find it fitting that the real bullies in life find their own bullies in cyberspace, call it Karma if you will.

[Read more about relational bullying here]

Guest Post: The Meaning of Life V.2

WRITTEN BY: IVAN
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The meaning of life is perhaps mankind’s most fundamental question as it gives reason to our existence. For millennia, many philosophers, and even scientists, have tried to decipher this mystery. Yet, many argue that life has no special purpose, and the reason that we are here is due to random chance. However, the ability to ponder about our very existence on this planet is something that defines humanity from all other life forms as we know it today.

Life and consciousness have an extremely complex origin and have often been debated in science. It is our nature in reality that makes us wonder about our place in the cosmos, and without it, our lives would be meaningless and our existence, futile.

In my opinion, life is all about making the world a better place than it was. As a whole, it is the spirit of humanity that keeps us from having wars ever so often, and allows us to progress. Since the appearance of our species, many fights and violent happenings had occurred, and it is only because mankind is in itself an inherently angst-driven being. Yet, why is it that people nowadays seem to show more care and concern for others than thousands of years ago? Well, the answer lies in the fact that many people nowadays are trying their best to aim towards harmony amongst all. Despite having wars and terror attacks plaguing the general public, it is no doubt that many of us have advanced from a fight for survival to a fight for peace.

Many times, the amount that people can go toward standing up against atrocities and injustice has shown that we are not always following the course of evolution. In the Darwinian theory of natural selection, stronger species tend to survive better than weaker ones, and fighting between humans is generally a result of this. Yet, is our movement toward world peace nature or nurture? It can be both, but the latter is the most likely cause. The shift toward global unity lies within us, and it is what gives life its meaning. If everyone does their own little part to contribute toward society, the change will be tremendous and our place in the large expanse of the cosmos, justified.

Life is full of unpredictability, and many times we might meet obstacles and challenges. The will and power to overcome them also gives meaning to life, and it is our determination that changes our lives. Through all the trials and tribulations, we have all made it to what we are today. I firmly believe that life is about surviving each day, and it is this that gives us the reason to live on.

Guest Post- On Belief

WRITTEN BY ED CHNG
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As a matter of clarification, let it be known that I am neither religious, nor am I a spirited atheist of the ilk of Eric. Religion interests me purely at an intellectual level, with such an interest primarily stemming from how much religion affects literature. Secondly, I do not claim to quote reliable statistics to back myself up, neither do I lay claim have a take on a higher truth. Any conception of the truth is, after all, inherently unstable.

I start by quoting J.M. Coetzee, who could not have accented it better:

I have no desire to associate myself with the people behind the Intelligent Design movement. Nevertheless, I continue to find evolution by random mutation and natural selection not just unconvincing but preposterous as an account of how complex organisms come into being. As long as there is not one of us who has the faintest idea of how to go about constructing a housefly from scratch, how can we disparage as intellectually naive the conclusion that the houseful must have been put together by an intelligence of a higher order than our own?

As a rule of thumb, one of the premises on which the scientific discipline operates is that what cannot be proven to be true, is untrue. Unfortunately, such a ‘rule’ has been elevated to into what Coetzee calls ‘epistemological axioms’, or in other words something close to a ‘universal truth’. Such a measure of validity has been advanced onto all accounts of life, above and beyond the discipline of science. It is one favourite argument of atheists, to argue that if you cannot see God, or if his existence cannot be proven, He does not exist.

I would like the militant atheists also to consider the possibility that we human beings do not even come close to comprehending the exact degree of complexity that the universe holds. In short, we know, and are capable of knowing, far less than we would like to know about how the world came to be and what kind of beings we are. It can therefore be said, that this is one yay for religion.

Nevertheless, the concept of Intelligent Design is still regarded very much as a creation myth, rejected in schools as a credible alternative to Evolutionism. Most schools do not even explore the theory of Intelligent Design alongside Evolution. Yet, as Robert Jensen, Professor of Journalism at the University of Texas and author of various books on this subject succinctly puts it, “intelligent design is not open to being tested experimentally and has no basis in science… (therefore) such treatment is not disrespectful of people’s religious beliefs, but simply intellectually honest.”

Playing the amateur sociologist, the functionalist theory with regards to religion holds that religion plays the important and much under-appreciated role of ensuring social solidarity and cohesion. Stretching the term ‘religion’, one could also take the communal fervour excited by events like concerts or football matches to mean that the very events themselves are somewhat religious. At least I know for me, I have idols to worship and rituals to follow when I watch Chelsea play. Lucky shirt on, beer always after chips. Religion, therefore, can loosely be defined as any such thing that evokes in one a belief in and of anything.

So, is not the fervent and ardent, not to mention collective belief that there is no God, or as Friedrich Nietzsche famously proclaimed, that “God is Dead”, in a sociological sense at least a religion? Quasi-religion, some may call it. My point is, that atheism and it’s beliefs in the absence of God as well as the fierce determination to prove themselves right has a lot in common with what we may call the traditional institutions of ‘religion’. Atheists hide behind supposed logic and reasoning, which I personally purport, because of the abovementioned elevation of scientific inquiry to the level of ‘common sense’, to be flawed. Is not a belief that science can magically provide all answers, even as we ourselves do not comprehend what we do not yet know, in itself a leap of faith?

I do personally believe, even if I am not myself a believer or religious by any consideration, that the very concept of religion is positive. While it is true that people throughout history and even today abuse religion for their own negative ends of violence, such as against those with contrary beliefs, or wrongful subjugation of certain groups of people like women, that itself is no fault of religion. The blame has to lie squarely at the criminal religious leaders.

So, live and let live. I hate the way some ‘evangelists’ have their tongues down my throat. Yet neither do I thus believe in the cause of the atheists. We all have different beliefs, and these beliefs contribute in no small part towards who we are, for better or for worse, whether or not it is huge and is institutionalised globally or it’s just some idiosyncratic OCD quirk. The religious people (in the traditional sense) have their gods, the militant atheists believe in overthrowing religion. And I believe in beer.

In the course of this rambling entry, I hope my other point has not been lost. It goes along the lines of: Don’t be complacent with whatever version of the truth you think is right. The very nature of truth is precarious, and whatever we know of everything is simply what everyone else accepts to be right.

We all have our lucky shirts, lucky underwear, et al. And I believe that when Chelsea win I must not brush my teeth for that particular night, for good luck. The whole world tells me I’m disgusting, but I simply shrug and move on.

Taken from: http://blueballs.wordpress.com/

It's Not Just About Sex.

“The john, the client, these individuals are usually men who pay for the right to do whatever he desires to the supply. The john is usually the guy next door. He’s someone’s husband, brother, uncle. He may be a doctor, owns his own business, be a painter, a carpenter. The john may desire to tie a woman or a girl up, he may not want to use a condom, he might want to rape the supply over and over until his desire is met. When he is finished with the supply he gives her or her pimp trafficker the agreed upon money. He puts his suit back on, goes home, tells his wife or girlfriend he loves her, kisses his daughter goodnight and goes to bed. As though nothing has happened. He feels justified for what he just did and never thought about how the supply feels. He paid for what he did.”

- Vednita Carter, Survivor and Founder of Breaking Free, St Paul, USA.
(http://www.womenlobby.org/site/video_en.asp)

There are many aspects to prostitution—the social and psychological causes and effects on individuals and society. I didn’t know where to start, and then I recalled a statement similar to “If there are no prostitutes, then rape cases will increase.” I had no idea who came up with such a simplistic statement, and DeMaitre suggested that it might have stemmed from the belief that “all men need sexual relief”.

Generally, all “normal” sexually mature humans (males and females) need some sort of sexual relief. Some do it with their lovers, some go for the quick fix (i.e. prostitution), some with inanimate objects… Others who do not accept their need for sexual relief may develop defense mechanisms, from writing sexual poems to totally abstaining from sex. Finally, if you are a sex addict, you need treatment, not prostitutes.

I do not think that if there are no prostitutes, rape cases will increase.

Firstly, the act of raping is abnormal. Many rapists were victims of sexual assaults or abusive relationships. Clearly, rapists have psychological issues which need to be addressed. Therefore, raping, or sexual assault, is different from paying for sex. In other words, if these men (your loving fathers, husbands, boyfriends, and sons) do not have access to prostitutes, it does not mean that they will go rape someone. Men who patronize prostitutes are not necessarily rapists, and rapists do not necessarily patronize prostitutes.

Secondly, it is not true that only men who are sexually deprived patronize prostitutes. Like I said, many of these Johns may have loving families or a sexually active life with their partners. Then why visit prostitutes? One of the lamest answers I’d heard of was “I love my girlfriend and I want her to be a virgin until after we get married. So I visit a prostitute for sexual relief.” Should I give this gentleman a round of applause for his warped concept of love, sex, loyalty and virginity? Then we have other men who seek a boost in self-worth, either because they have attachment issues with their spouses, or because they need some sort of re-assurance for their manhood. These men too, do not turn into rapists overnight if they have no access to prostitutes.

Lastly, prostitutes get raped too. Let me remind you again, raping is sexual assault, and most women, including prostitutes, do not enjoy being raped. It’s emotionally and physically painful and traumatic. Prostitutes are at a higher risk for rape because of the nature of their job. Most Johns view prostitutes as commodities which they have unquestionable sexual access to. In addition, pimps almost literally “own” their prostitutes, and therefore see any action directed towards the prostitutes as justifiable, including rape.

The relationship between rape and prostitution is not simplistic. If it is, then why are there still rape cases in nations with legalized prostitution? Social systems, beliefs, media, education, economy, and many other aspects of society contribute to human-trafficking and prostitution. It’s not just about sex and sexual relief.

The Evolution of Male-Female Relationships in the Modern Context

Typical of WK to come up with such long titles, but the topic I’m going to explore is something that has been talked about very often, and which De Maitre had an interesting interpretation of:

Relationships (Romantic, sexual, platonic, whatever) between males and females.

To be very honest, I’m not been in any relationship, so I don’t have the “authority” to talk about boy-girl relationships. But I certainly can talk about it using a sociological, philosophical, even technological approach, as De Maitre had done.

The points that De Maitre had identified are as such:

First, women have long been subordinated by men, and hence they desire and deserve freedom.
Second, technology and social change has helped free many women from that subordination, and created that freedom.
Third, because of the first and second point, women don’t really need men.


First, it’s true that women were subordinated by men for too long in history. Women had no legal or constitutional status, and in many places and times, no social status as well. And times haven’t changed much since. Women in many places are free, but millions of women are still subordinated to men, often with saddening and horrifying consequences.

Second, the same millions of women are still subordinated because technology and social change hasn’t reached them. Even when it did, enforcement is a key problem in spreading freedom for women.

Take for example, in India, child marriages (imagine marrying your eight-month old daughter to a, say, eight year old boy?) and sati (a form of ritual suicide where the widow immolates herself in her husband’s funeral pyre), and in China, female infanticide (killing of babies), still very prevalent in rural areas today.

In addition, the same standards for female equality in say, Europe, are unrealistic for other parts of the world, where the problems are much worse. In Africa for example, female genital mutilation (female circumcision is one) is a major problem.

Social, constitutional, legal, economic equality for women cannot be expected without first dealing with this more prevalent and dangerous problem. One should be realistic and aim for gradual, marginal improvements.


Alright, that’s all for the depressing stuff. So what IS freedom for women? I think it’s the right to an unmolested life.

Why the word “unmolested”?

“Unmolested” has many important connotations.

It has the idea of protection physiologically, where women have rights over their own bodies. If you know how female genital mutilation works, trust me, you’ll be horrified.

It has the idea of protection psychologically, where women have freedom of thought and expression.

It has the idea of protection socially, where women can govern their own lives without the pervasion of irrelevant social doctrine.


So, do women need men? And vice versa?

De Maitre has pointed out that technology has created the scenario where women are no longer dependent on men. But the same can be said of men to women.

The thing is, technology allows us to create the ideal for both genders. It reminds me of Japanese pop culture, where they explore the idea of having robot boyfriends or girlfriends.

Like the J-drama Absolute Boyfriend, and the anime Chobits.

Technology is fundamentally value neutral. People sculpt ideals and values into value-free technology, deriving different meanings from them.

As De Maitre said, “They can be programmed to be faithful, loving, caring, considerate and generous…”

I say, for men programming female robots, “they can be programmed to be caring, considerate, and cute…”

So De Maitre is right in this respect.

But there is something slightly more to it, in my opinion. This is because there is a possibility for a different outcome.

I’ve mentioned in an earlier post, Robots, Their Quest to be Human and the Meaning of Humanity, robots can help us understand more about ourselves. Here, our understanding of human relationships deepens when we recognize the imperfections of robots in their perfection.

The perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, as created by technology, can fulfill one’s every dream and desire.

But ultimately, one can get too caught up with the idea of perfection, and forget that imperfect humans exist alongside oneself, not to mention that one is him/herself an imperfect human.

Technology has not so much freed women from men, than both men and women from themselves and each other. Given this freedom, wouldn’t it be possible that humans can explore their relationships further?

"What Is" Series- What is Beauty?

There have been quite a number of posts about the whole notion of beauty in our society. I thought it’ll be my turn to explore the idea of beauty, and what it means for life in the modern world.

Most of the issues that revolve around the concept of beauty have to do with cosmetic surgery. Double eyelids, a sharper nose, a sharper chin, down to the chest, then the waist, then the hips, then the thighs… you get the idea.

So, why would people want to go to such lengths to change themselves… anatomically, if I can say that? There are two reasons in my opinion, one that is sociological, and one that is practical.

Society sets ideals on gender in many ways. Females are supposed to be, well, feminine. In addition to behaviourial expectations, they are also given “standards” for appearance in figure, what sociologist Naomi Wolf calls the “Beauty Myth”.

Basically, the beauty myth creates the situation that women judge themselves, and are judged by others, by their appearance. Being better looking means more opportunities in life.

That brings me to the second reason I’m going to talk about, the practical reason. Society is increasingly demanding in terms of appearance. Having looks means more job opportunities in the service industry, more opportunities to attend social or corporate events, and all these translates into better prospects.

Given modern society’s obsession with speed and convenience, cosmetic surgery is seen as the fastest solution that can produce the quickest results.

Well, compare running 10km everyday to a session at the slimming centre once a week. Which is better?

Of course, there are consequences to this obsession of the superficial. In the pursuit of beauty, people don’t realize that a double standard is at work in our society. Women are forced to make themselves attractive, but men do not feel the same pressure to do so. Of course, there are men who take great lengths to enhance their “beauty”, but unlike females, there is no social impetus for men to do so.

Hence the “Beauty and the Beast” stories in our society today.

The second consequence is that of our society’s value towards beauty. There is such a thing as “inner beauty”, a good character, personal ability, intelligence, etc, and in a society that over-emphasises physical appearance, is there still value in these qualities?

Just imagine going out, and seeing a really pretty girl. But to your horror, when she speaks, she spews out a whole range of vulgarities. Is that still pretty, I ask everyone?

Mencius, the Chinese philosopher, argued that beauty is a combination of inner and outer beauty. they complement each other.

Finally, to end off, Zhuge Liang, the genius strategist and Prime Minister of the State of Shu during the Three Kingdoms Period, had a very average-looking (some say ugly, but there is no conclusive evidence), but brilliant wife.

Beware of Sex Predators

A 26 year old with cerebral palsy with serious sexual pervasion… *Shakes Head* He drove for 5 hours to have sex with a woman posing as a 13year old that he met online. He asked to be her first at sex, discussed anal and oral sex, asked if he could shave her private parts, requested for a set of her worn panties and even sent her a picture of a couple having sex. Unfortunately for him, the 13 year old girl was just a decoy for the show “Catch a Predator”.


This 47 year old guy had just been charged for soliciting sex with a minor and had a history of raping his 13 year old relative. He’s a serial Pedophile and Hebephile- I guess it’s because he’s less than 5 ft tall. He needs someone of his size. He was discussing about his penis size on the internet and dropped by once he knew that her parents aren’t home. Unbelievably, he was due to enter jail within a few days. He has issues that I think it are due to his low self esteem.


This guy is worst- he’s a 6 grade teacher! Ok, teachers are not perfect creatures, but I just think teachers shouldn’t be sex predators. It’s scary and I think it’s a violation of trust. So sex predators, please stick to your stereotype- please be ugly, unemployed and pathetic.

These are typical example of a typical sex predator lurking on cyberspace, preying on innocent adolescents. Between the ages 10-16, girls normally undergo a tumulus period of wanting to be in love and to feel wanted. They always feel bored and they like to think everyone around them is stupid. Many of them are so attention crazed that they solicit the company of strangers online.

As the adolescence is a period of sexual awakening, many girls are often too curious for their own benefit. When guys show them pictures of themselves, compliment them, flatter them, and get close, the girls just let their guard down and agree to meet these men. Some girls end up getting raped; some girls end up doing stuff that they will regret later. The internet is a dangerous place, never meet up with strangers.

FYI:
Pedophilia is the sexual preference for prepubescent persons,
Hebephilia is the sexual preference for pubescent persons,
Ephebophilia is the sexual preference for mid-to-late adolescents (15-19 yrs old).

Guest Post: Elitism in Singapore

WRITTEN BY: IVAN
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In the dawn of the twenty-first century, elitism has become widespread amongst many students in Singapore, including those from non-elite schools. From the blog posts of Intellectual Snob to the Wee Shu Min elitism scandal, elitism has bred dissatisfaction. Yet, the question that we have to ask ourselves is: Why is elitism such a common sight in our nation?

First and foremost, Singapore’s education system has become increasingly competitive over the years. Due to the high emphasis placed on education by parents and schools, many students have strived to attain high grades so as to prove themselves superior to others who do not perform as well as them. Consequently, this causes the idea that achieving success in the aspect of having good paper qualifications would equate to being on a higher level in the social hierarchy. From a psychological point of view, this idea is often embedded in the subconscious mind of many students and graduates, which is the platform for which beliefs form and character builds.

In many students, there is a presence of an inferiority complex that is caused by a lack of self worth, often evoked by the presence of others who perform better than them in studies. This causes them to compensate for their feelings of inferiority and hence start acting superior, which arises from the instinct of self-preservation. Often, this causes them to become what we know as elitists, and explains why elitists can also materialize from non-elite schools. Of course, inferiority complex can plague students from elite schools, but it is relatively common in the non-elite ones.

In today, the constant race-to-riches has caused many to strive for academic excellence in order to get a high paying job. It is the mentality of equating success to a high salary that exists in many elitists which causes them to chase grades. When this happens, these people usually dismiss others who are not as work-directed as they are to be deemed as people with “no future”. Often, having a standardized education system prevents people to have truly groundbreaking ideas by which new business models are based upon. As such, people without a proper education would not think like the millions of other graduates, and might dare to deviate from the current thinking, which is where many creative and “out-of-the-box” ideas originate. Yet, many do not come to realize this fact.

Through this, the entire concept of success has changed. Many intellectuals often work in a job that they do not enjoy, and only do it for the sake of monetary reasons. Holding many meetings and having to fly from one country to another every few days has often caused job dissatisfaction. Even so, these people believe that they are successful, given the high salaries that they have. Is this true success? No, it is not. However, many elitists simply have the idea that it is being etched into their minds, and leads them to believe that they are better off than their lower-salaried counterparts.

In the advent of a dividing social class, elitism plays a major role in shaping our future. With many people disregarding the nation’s problems and acting only for their own interests at heart, elitism causes many to lose the spirit of teamwork and leads to a failure in cooperation as a nation. Although the problem is relatively small-scale at this point in time, elitism has the potential to cause major problems in the future. On the other hand, elitism has already caused some disharmony between the two social classes.

The Value of Discipline

It been some time since I published a post, and given the lack of personal ideas, I decided to do the response to De Maitre’s post on juvenile delinquents and the value of boot camps.

There are many reasons for deviance, or rebellion, whatever you call it. It depends on the perspective you take.

If you think the kids are innocent, you can say that it is the result of poor upbringing, or bad peer influence.

If you think the kids are guilty, you can say that is the result of their desire to challenge authority, or their lack of self awareness.

Sociologists have long been debating the causes of deviance. Some argue that it’s the lack of opportunity for youths to gain self-satisfaction, or to achieve social expectations, while some argue that it’s rebellion against the social structures and institutions they feel is unfair (like the school, or the family).

De Maitre has pointed out the East-West divide in the concept of parenting. I think it ultimately boils down to the method of management. Eastern societies did not have a culture of challenging authority, because such societies treasure consensus over conflict. They accept social hierarchies, and believe that social order can be maintained when everyone does his/her part in maintaining that relationship.

Here’s how Confucius defined the relationship:

Children must be filial to their parents, likewise parents must love their children. Subjects must be loyal to their lord, and the lord must treat his subjects well.

So here you see a two-way relationship.

It’s very different in the West. Partly because of their idea of personal freedom, and partly because of legislation, the treatment of family relations is very different. There is very little control, just as the government does not overtly control the behaviour of its citizens.

But there is one crucial difference. The government has the “monopoly of violence” – jails, laws, etc, which the average family does not have. The state deals with its deviants by the use of law, what does the family have for its own deviants?

Now on to boot camps.

In my opinion, boot camps are helpful, but there’s no guarantee it’ll work.

Youths need some form of regimentation. They need to learn how to do things in an acceptable way, and understand that they can only gain the acceptance, the recognition they so desire by following the rules.