It's Not Just About Sex.

“The john, the client, these individuals are usually men who pay for the right to do whatever he desires to the supply. The john is usually the guy next door. He’s someone’s husband, brother, uncle. He may be a doctor, owns his own business, be a painter, a carpenter. The john may desire to tie a woman or a girl up, he may not want to use a condom, he might want to rape the supply over and over until his desire is met. When he is finished with the supply he gives her or her pimp trafficker the agreed upon money. He puts his suit back on, goes home, tells his wife or girlfriend he loves her, kisses his daughter goodnight and goes to bed. As though nothing has happened. He feels justified for what he just did and never thought about how the supply feels. He paid for what he did.”

- Vednita Carter, Survivor and Founder of Breaking Free, St Paul, USA.
(http://www.womenlobby.org/site/video_en.asp)

There are many aspects to prostitution—the social and psychological causes and effects on individuals and society. I didn’t know where to start, and then I recalled a statement similar to “If there are no prostitutes, then rape cases will increase.” I had no idea who came up with such a simplistic statement, and DeMaitre suggested that it might have stemmed from the belief that “all men need sexual relief”.

Generally, all “normal” sexually mature humans (males and females) need some sort of sexual relief. Some do it with their lovers, some go for the quick fix (i.e. prostitution), some with inanimate objects… Others who do not accept their need for sexual relief may develop defense mechanisms, from writing sexual poems to totally abstaining from sex. Finally, if you are a sex addict, you need treatment, not prostitutes.

I do not think that if there are no prostitutes, rape cases will increase.

Firstly, the act of raping is abnormal. Many rapists were victims of sexual assaults or abusive relationships. Clearly, rapists have psychological issues which need to be addressed. Therefore, raping, or sexual assault, is different from paying for sex. In other words, if these men (your loving fathers, husbands, boyfriends, and sons) do not have access to prostitutes, it does not mean that they will go rape someone. Men who patronize prostitutes are not necessarily rapists, and rapists do not necessarily patronize prostitutes.

Secondly, it is not true that only men who are sexually deprived patronize prostitutes. Like I said, many of these Johns may have loving families or a sexually active life with their partners. Then why visit prostitutes? One of the lamest answers I’d heard of was “I love my girlfriend and I want her to be a virgin until after we get married. So I visit a prostitute for sexual relief.” Should I give this gentleman a round of applause for his warped concept of love, sex, loyalty and virginity? Then we have other men who seek a boost in self-worth, either because they have attachment issues with their spouses, or because they need some sort of re-assurance for their manhood. These men too, do not turn into rapists overnight if they have no access to prostitutes.

Lastly, prostitutes get raped too. Let me remind you again, raping is sexual assault, and most women, including prostitutes, do not enjoy being raped. It’s emotionally and physically painful and traumatic. Prostitutes are at a higher risk for rape because of the nature of their job. Most Johns view prostitutes as commodities which they have unquestionable sexual access to. In addition, pimps almost literally “own” their prostitutes, and therefore see any action directed towards the prostitutes as justifiable, including rape.

The relationship between rape and prostitution is not simplistic. If it is, then why are there still rape cases in nations with legalized prostitution? Social systems, beliefs, media, education, economy, and many other aspects of society contribute to human-trafficking and prostitution. It’s not just about sex and sexual relief.