The Evolution of Male-Female Relationships in the Modern Context

Typical of WK to come up with such long titles, but the topic I’m going to explore is something that has been talked about very often, and which De Maitre had an interesting interpretation of:

Relationships (Romantic, sexual, platonic, whatever) between males and females.

To be very honest, I’m not been in any relationship, so I don’t have the “authority” to talk about boy-girl relationships. But I certainly can talk about it using a sociological, philosophical, even technological approach, as De Maitre had done.

The points that De Maitre had identified are as such:

First, women have long been subordinated by men, and hence they desire and deserve freedom.
Second, technology and social change has helped free many women from that subordination, and created that freedom.
Third, because of the first and second point, women don’t really need men.


First, it’s true that women were subordinated by men for too long in history. Women had no legal or constitutional status, and in many places and times, no social status as well. And times haven’t changed much since. Women in many places are free, but millions of women are still subordinated to men, often with saddening and horrifying consequences.

Second, the same millions of women are still subordinated because technology and social change hasn’t reached them. Even when it did, enforcement is a key problem in spreading freedom for women.

Take for example, in India, child marriages (imagine marrying your eight-month old daughter to a, say, eight year old boy?) and sati (a form of ritual suicide where the widow immolates herself in her husband’s funeral pyre), and in China, female infanticide (killing of babies), still very prevalent in rural areas today.

In addition, the same standards for female equality in say, Europe, are unrealistic for other parts of the world, where the problems are much worse. In Africa for example, female genital mutilation (female circumcision is one) is a major problem.

Social, constitutional, legal, economic equality for women cannot be expected without first dealing with this more prevalent and dangerous problem. One should be realistic and aim for gradual, marginal improvements.


Alright, that’s all for the depressing stuff. So what IS freedom for women? I think it’s the right to an unmolested life.

Why the word “unmolested”?

“Unmolested” has many important connotations.

It has the idea of protection physiologically, where women have rights over their own bodies. If you know how female genital mutilation works, trust me, you’ll be horrified.

It has the idea of protection psychologically, where women have freedom of thought and expression.

It has the idea of protection socially, where women can govern their own lives without the pervasion of irrelevant social doctrine.


So, do women need men? And vice versa?

De Maitre has pointed out that technology has created the scenario where women are no longer dependent on men. But the same can be said of men to women.

The thing is, technology allows us to create the ideal for both genders. It reminds me of Japanese pop culture, where they explore the idea of having robot boyfriends or girlfriends.

Like the J-drama Absolute Boyfriend, and the anime Chobits.

Technology is fundamentally value neutral. People sculpt ideals and values into value-free technology, deriving different meanings from them.

As De Maitre said, “They can be programmed to be faithful, loving, caring, considerate and generous…”

I say, for men programming female robots, “they can be programmed to be caring, considerate, and cute…”

So De Maitre is right in this respect.

But there is something slightly more to it, in my opinion. This is because there is a possibility for a different outcome.

I’ve mentioned in an earlier post, Robots, Their Quest to be Human and the Meaning of Humanity, robots can help us understand more about ourselves. Here, our understanding of human relationships deepens when we recognize the imperfections of robots in their perfection.

The perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, as created by technology, can fulfill one’s every dream and desire.

But ultimately, one can get too caught up with the idea of perfection, and forget that imperfect humans exist alongside oneself, not to mention that one is him/herself an imperfect human.

Technology has not so much freed women from men, than both men and women from themselves and each other. Given this freedom, wouldn’t it be possible that humans can explore their relationships further?